Zion Williamson Is Large And In Charge

 

According to Bill Simmons a reliable source told him that Zion Williams is playing at over 300 pounds. Here’s a quick list of animals that weigh under 300 pounds according to a non fact checked google search:

  1. South American Fur Seal 
  2. Bearded Pig 
  3. Giant Panda
  4. Pacific Dolphin 
  5. Moon Bear

Kinda changes things when you think about being on the business end of a South American Fur Seal driving down the lane. What a physical specimen.  God I hope this is all true. Zion if you are reading this please take a picture of yourself on a scale. Maybe even throw in today’s newspaper hostage style.

And buddy don’t you dare accuse me of fat shaming. It’s 2020 and we don’t do that.  It would actually reassure me about my life.  One minute I’m out of shape and slightly overweight working a desk job and I am feeling pretty down about it.  Next thing I know all I have to do is gain 60 pounds  an undisclosed amount of weight and I could be one of the best basketball players in the world.  My whole perspective has changed in an instant.  What a day, what a life!  Thank you Zion.

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-Jon Sensi (@jon_sensi)

 

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