The Secret to Falling Asleep Happy This Super Bowl Sunday

If you’re a guy like me, you’re super chill, love to watch football, and love to gamble on it, then keep reading. I’m dropping a hefty bag on my Rams this Sunday, and I’d love to tell you why.

*Disclaimer, I already have a futures bet on the Rams to win the Super Bowl, and I also have my illustrious reputation as a sports blogger on the line. Take my wisdom with a grain of salt if you wish.

Line Movement

The line for this game has moved around a wee bit. I saw this game open on some books at Rams -3.5, then moved throughout this week to as far as Rams -4.5. As of right now, heading into the weekend, it looks like it’s staying put at Rams -4. Here’s the thing, you’re never gonna be smarter than the computers that create these odds down in Vegas. But these stupid computers can’t help themselves by telling you where they’re hoping you throw your money. This movement shows the obvious: Vegas is begging you to take the points with the Bengals. Under the assumption that Vegas always wins, throw your wife and kids on the Rams.

Super Bowl Comfortability

I can’t even imagine what it feels like running out of the tunnel for a Super Bowl. That has to be the purest form of testosterone that the male body is capable of producing. But after a drive or two, once the fellas shake off the jitters, it’s still football. And I think there’s something to be said for the Rams settling into a game in their own stadium. I’m not talking about their fans or the atmosphere, I’m talking about the simple circumstance of the Rams playing on their home turf in the biggest game of the year. These guys been able to sleep in their own beds for the past two weeks. They’ve been practicing and preparing routinely at their own facilities. They’ll be going into their own locker room at halftime while Dre and Kendrick bring some heat. Aside from the fact that they have more dudes (and a Head Coach) who have played in a Super Bowl before, these random elements can add up positively. And I think when enough of these factors add up they subconsciously make the Rams more comfortable heading into Sunday. Once again, throw your wife and kids on the Rams.

Joe Burrow

Like I said in my previous blog, the whole universe knows that Joe is That Dude right now. He knows Aaron Donald and Von Miller are about to run through his O-line like Swiss cheese. He knows his Bengals are the underdogs, yet again. Joe’s heard every other narrative that’s been building over the past few weeks. He doesn’t care. He’s Joe Burrow. He’s the coolest mf’er on the planet right now. So, Joe, if you end up leading these Bengals to a Super Bowl on Sunday, you can have my money. I’d love to see it happen just as much as the next guy, even if I suffer financially. So, once again, throw your wife and kids on the Rams. And if Burrow ends up breaking your bank account, at least he’s cool enough to make it worth it. And your wife and kids probably think he’s cool too, so technically everyone still wins here.

So, bet on the Rams at -4 if you can. If it ends up being a game decided by a field goal, the Bengals are probably winning it with McPherson. Voilà– the key to happiness before your very eyes. You’ll either fall asleep Sunday night smiling because you’re rich, or smiling because you witnessed Joe Burrow win his first ring. Sleep tight!

-Cam Duley (Twitter: cammy_coco_)


(Featured Images Credit to wnyt.com, cincyjungle.com, nfl.com, sportingnews.com)

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