This week we got a double dip of Bachelorette episodes, which means I am here for a double dip of recaps.
I appreciate how they broke these two episodes out. They had all the drama and testosterone and pettiness on Monday night. Which I obviously covered.
And then this episode there really wasn’t any drama. No necessary feuds or anything like that.
Hell we didn’t even get what we got on last seasons Bachelor with Pete’s mom, Barb, being holier than thou on all the girls (mainly Madison).
Barb was the worst. Barb and Yosef deserve each other.
So this week was hometowns during a pandemic meaning they couldn’t actually go home.
So, the men were tasked with creating their own dates with Tayshia that were suppose to encapsulate what it meant to be in their hometown. And their families flew out to California to see them.
At the end of this episode however one guy does have to get sent home before the Fantasy Suites. So the pressure was certainly on.
So Brenden’s lower third graphic says that he is from Milford, Mass. How about that, he’s from Milfahd.
Perhaps pigeonholing my audience here, but I can only hear later night Mikey Adams on WEEI saying something like “Oh Brenden from Milfahd, I use to drive through Milfahd on my way to Worcestah, tell me does Ol’ Joe still work at the Package Store?”
I’m guessing a very few select few of you understand that reference but it’s what pops in my head whenever I see his name pop up.
Brenden creates a carnival for Tayshia, taking her to what his favorite thing to do in the summer is, which is go to a fair. And he brings along his niece who made the trip out to see them.
He also ends up pulling out some dance moves.
— Som (@somtoo_o) December 16, 2020
In which he looks like a young Forrest Gump trying to dance out of his leg braces.
— just show up (@bachelolz) December 16, 2020
Nice play there Brenden my boy, the ole, I’m great with little kids card. I mean it’s also his niece so I’m sure they actually do have a great relationship. But still nice play.
— bachelorette🌹 (@bachelortweettz) December 16, 2020
Next it’s time to meet the family. Brenden has his brother and his wife and of course his niece.
Basically Brenden says that since his father passed away his brother is his best friend and biggest influence in life. So he’s the guy you need to impress.
Tayshia seems to hit it off with everyone, she’s pretty easy going and in social situations that would make most of us feeling highly uncomfortable.
One big part of this date, Brenden admits he wants kids.
Not surprising seeing how he acts with his niece. But he is also wanting to make sure that his next proposal and marriage is his last one. Which so is Tayshia. Remember they have both been down the married too young, divorced already path.
— olivia leventhal (@olivialev16) December 16, 2020
So that’s good to see that Brenden, Tayshia and his family are all on the same page.
Zac takes Tayshia around New York City in cardboard props style.
— Matt The Bach (@MattTheBach) December 16, 2020
Imagine you sign up for this show thinking you get to travel the world and maybe then bring the Bachelorette back to your home town just to end up staying at a resort in California the entire time?
It is a very nice resort. Cheapest room you can get right now starts at like $205 a night.
And the villa Tayshia is staying in I assume starts at like $1,000 a night.
Certainly top end quality, but the around the world aesthetic and home town dates were brought to you by the people who made the “It’s a Small World” ride at Disney.
It’s nice and all, the highlight of the date was that Tayshia and Zac end up making out in a fountain.
Yup, a fountain, water and all just swapping spit.
They meet Zac’s family which is his parents and his brother. Apparently they are huge fans of the show. But sure Zac is here for the right reasons people…
And Zac’s mom basically has a crush on Chris Harrison. But I mean get in line lady, who doesn’t?
Well Chris surprises her by walking in to meet her and she is overjoyed.
— Stephanie (@scde_de) December 16, 2020
Cute fun and all that, but seriously get in line, we all love the man okay?
Zac’s brother gives Tayshia the toughest interrogation of the night. Although he basically just asked her to give him the power rankings on the guys here and where Zac stands.
To which Tayshia basically shuts that down and walks around it. Maybe this was a play by Zac, ask her where I stand so I know what I need to do to leap frog the other three.
So Ivan’s hometown is probably what most of us would want.
First, it was indoors and seeing how all the other guys were sweating on what had to be like a 120 degree week in southern Cali, I’m totally fine with that.
— Günther (@Gunther37688386) December 16, 2020
And two, again indoors, so he is showing you that he is a homebody. If 2020 has taught us anything it’s that staying home is so much better than going out into the scary world.
And third, they make food.
To repeat, air conditioning, staying at home and cooking food. Perfect date in my opinion.
They meet Ivan’s family. His parents are there to visit, even though his Dad has multiple health issues and is 70 years old and of anyone in the world should definitely be staying at home during a pandemic but he had to go meet his son’s reality TV girlfriend.
And all jokes aside I am glad he did. He had the best voice of the episode.
— JasonPhillips74 (@Phillips74Jason) December 16, 2020
And he was clearly the wisest.
He told Tayshia he had been married before, like her and was able to relate to her about that.
He asked if she did any self reflecting about what happened in her failed marriage. To which he wasn’t condescending he said he did the same thing. It was like two people who have been through the same experience relating to one another.
And he didn’t ask if she was good enough for Ivan or if she was ready. He simply stated what he learned through it and how it made his second marriage last.
The highlight of this date was Ivan expressing how he wished his brother was there. His brother is his best friend, who has had trouble with the law.
Not sure if it was editing or the producers working their magic but it seemed like right after Ivan said he wished his brother was there, he appeared.
Producers: … wait for it… wait for it
Ivan: I wish my brother was here
— Banana Fana Fo F’Adam (@mradamppowell) December 16, 2020
A great, heartfelt moment that almost supercedes all the petty drama we’ve seen this season.
— Adrian Funtimes (@AdrianFunTimes) December 16, 2020
Ivan's brother should be the next Bachelor. #TheBachelorette
— Trent (@BarstoolTrent) December 16, 2020
He called the situation/ TV show, in which everyone else has called a journey or experience a “righteous endeavor.”
— Meg Havs (@MegHavs) December 16, 2020
I mean damn, just come right in and switch everything up why don’t you.
Also not to try and bring the moment down but, he does have two tear drop tattoos…
— Cassie (@cassieflynnn) December 16, 2020
Just an observation, but yeah.
Of all people relieved about not having to do hometowns, Ben was certainly one of them as he didn’t have to bring Tayshia to Indiana.
They sort of do the same date as they did a couple of episodes ago with them going around on skates. I don’t know I can’t remember what they all did, it was pretty dull to be honest, I think I was looking at my phone for most of that date.
But the drama for Ben comes later. His family there is his sister who remember from a few episodes ago he credited with saving his life even though she had no clue.
And a family friend of theirs who means a lot to Ben.
Well Ben opens up to her about whether or not he actually loves Tayshia.
Ben at the beginning of this episode admits he can’t get emotional and doesn’t think he can cry. This all foreshadows into later in the episode.
But she finally gets him to admit he loves Tayshia. It takes someone else confirming Ben to himself how he feels. This guy needs a therapist right away.
But after he realizes that, you can see he is on cloud nine. Happy as can be realizing he loves her.
So Tayshia and him talk after their date and he goes in prepared to tell her he loves her.
But he just can’t.
He admits he is super nervous to say it and just can’t bring himself to get those words out. And the date ends pretty awkwardly with the two of them sort of just leaving.
I feel bad for Ben, he wants to communicate but there’s something in his brain that just won’t let him do it. Some sort of stigma or block that refuses to let him tell people what or how he feels.
The Rose Ceremony
Again someone has to go home after the four hometown dates. And everyone feels pretty good about where they stand with Tayshia.
Zac and Ivan get the first two roses, leaving only Brenden and Ben left for the third and final rose. Brenden on the hot seat now for two straight episodes.
And it goes to Brenden, meaning Ben is done.
Shock and Awe
So remember Ben admitted finally he loves Tayshia but didn’t tell her that which immediately then turned into him not getting a rose.
Tayshia gives him the courtesy of walking him out and explaining herself to him. And when she asked what he was feeling he just repeated “I don’t know.”
I’ll start by repeating, I feel bad for Ben. He has every right intention with Tayshia and wanting to love her but something in him can’t share emotions or feelings.
And that’s probably from battling his depression and PTSD and other suicidal thoughts that he’s been battling for years now. He has probably shut his emotions down and suppressed them to the point where even when things are going right and well he can’t express them.
And as my wife pointed out last night, that is not a quick switch that can be flipped on and off. Ben was not on the show for instagram fame or clout. He couldn’t turn on and off TV Ben whenever he wanted to, this is him in his most natural state.
He was also in so much shock of what just happened that he couldn’t say anything. I mean this was the look of a man who was, in every sense of the word, blindsided.
— maggs (@HUGHES_Y0_daddy) December 16, 2020
That is shocked to your core, and trying to process what just happened on national TV. So while Tayshia saw zero emotion from him and thought maybe he didn’t care, he cared so much that he didn’t know how to react.
He is Peter Abernathy from Westworld glitching out.
Now there are some people blasting Tayshia for sending Ben home and saying that she say no emotion from him and that hurt because she thinks none of this meant anything to him.
P.S. Ben wasn't showing "no emotion", he was frozen. It's a trauma reaction.
Fight, flight, freeze, fawn.
— Michelle Nochomovitz (@Food_Nomad) December 16, 2020
But I will defend Tayshia here. First off she isn’t a mind reader. If Ben doesn’t tell her he loves her how is she suppose to know?
She also brings up a good point in her reasoning. Every ounce of emotion she got out of Ben took a lot of effort to get out of him. Which is not something that a ring just all of a sudden changes or fixes.
Their entire marriage would be her working desperately hard for him to communicate what he thinks or feels about her or something going on at the time. That’s not what she is looking for.
It’s easy for us to judge. We know Ben loves her but just couldn’t say it, and then was blindsided by not getting a rose. But think of Tayshia’s point of view.
She loves this guy, but he has never confirmed he feels the same way back. Their hometown date which maybe seemed like a breakthrough ended with a thud. And then when he doesn’t get a rose he just sits there saying “I don’t know.” What would you be thinking if you didn’t have everything in context like the viewer did?
I don’t blame Tayshia for her decision, her reasoning was very sound. I hope Ben gets the help he needs. He needs a therapist to work through everything or this will keep happening to him over and over.
Episode MVP: Gabriel
The MVP of this week was an easy choice, it’s Ivan’s brother Gabriel.
He came out of nowhere, almost like magic and gave us the most heart melting moment of this episode and then won everyone over by calling this show a “righteous endeavor.”
— Tony's Bachelor/ette Account (@bachwatch2) December 16, 2020
— najee harris stan autumñ (@semiautumnmatic) December 16, 2020
Episode Loser: Can I Speak With You?
So every time Tayshia sat down to start talking to the families it all of a sudden was cut off with a certain family member asking either Tayshia or one of the men if they could talk in private.
That never ever happens in real world conversations, and it felt so forced by the producers.
“Okay so when Tayshia walks in, she will say hello, they will introduce you all and then you say. excuse me but Tayshia can I speak with you please?”
It had a real, “May I speak with you in my office?” vibe to it. And they edited those clips in every time. Hey, we get it, they are going to talk to Tayshia and the men privately about what’s going on we don’t need to see the awkward exchange first.
It was like they were reading it off of cards being held up next to the camera.
“Dad can you look at camera three for us please and say ‘Tayshia can I speak with you in private? Even though you would never say that normally.”
Another two episodes again next week. I don’t understand why they jam the last four episodes into two weeks but I guess there must be some formula that works.
Next week though is the finale. So fantasy suites and we find out who Tayshia picks.
However Brenden brings up a good point. First off they are suppose to get engaged? Like engaged to be married? After being on a TV show for like a month or two? Okay….
And second, your suppose to propose to a girl who may of just had sex with two other guys literally a couple days before that? It makes negative sense to me.
I don’t blame a single person who sits back and says “what in the world am I doing?”
But what is weird for them is entertainment for us so bring on the fantasy suites!