A double dose of The Bachelorette this week means a double dose of recaps from yours truly.
Nobody works harder than The Bachelorette producers they say, except for me. Just kidding not really, those people are wizards and emotional menaces.
I’ll try keeping it shorter and sweeter since there is double the action as we come down the homestretch.
This week’s episode was basically split in half between Tayshia’s actual quest to find love and a somewhat abbreviated Men’s Tell-All.
So let’s jump into it.
The Man is BACK
No I’m not talking about Bennett, although we will get to his shocking return in a bit. I’m talking about Chris MF’ing HARRISON.
He left for a week to bring his kid back to college and COVID, quarantining rules be damned, we can’t have this guy sitting alone on the sidelines for two weeks right now. We need him in the game.
He catches up with Tayshia which is more of a “Previously on…” segment than anything genuine.
Although I will say he tells her that she has cleaned house since he was gone and he certainly isn’t wrong. Plenty of shake ups since the last time we saw Chris.
Catch and Release
We have a solo date between Tayshia and the human embodiment of a large mouth bass, Blake.
— Hannah (@hannahmulls) December 15, 2020
Last week I predicted that this was not going to end well for Blake. We have seen plenty of more deserving men get shipped home after a one on one and Blake self analyzed that he was hanging on by a thread in terms of staying on the show.
So while he thought this was a great last ditch effort to get himself to the hometown round I think it was anything but.
Their date is with some spiritual shaman which is already sort of awkward for two people who just need to talk and have a good time.
We later see in the tell-all that she tries opening up their sexual chakra’s which for Blake was easy since the guys have told us all he ever talks about is sex.
But then she makes them sit together and stare into each others eyes.
— QuirkyDreamer (@AuraGazm) December 15, 2020
And like a large mouth bass, Blake’s eyes just seem dead inside.
You can tell pretty quickly on these solo dates if the two people are feeling it. It’s one thing to be able to hit it off at a cocktail party, talking about what type of dog you would want, or where you grew up.
So at the end of this, Tayshia sends Blake packing.
She is heartbroken over it. Blake for all of my taunts and skepticism of him took it like a man, he told Tayshia it would be okay as she cried. As if he was about to sacrifice himself for her or something.
He was trying to pull off the Han Solo going into carbonate freezing for her. But Blake is done.
Remember when Chris said Tayshia cleaned house? Well she’s not done.
As the guys debate whether or not Blake comes back with a rose from his date, which would secure him a hometown spot. Tayshia returns, with no Blake.
The guys are pleasantly shocked. But none more so than Riley who Tayshia asks to talk to him. Which was a real, “can I speak with you in my office” sort of vibe.
She sends Riley home as well.
Riley is a fan favorite. He hasn’t been afraid to call out people when they are acting out. He also has held himself in a high respectable manner.
And after hearing his story last week about how he changed his name to start a new life for himself. And that new life is being a highly successful lawyer in New York, I would say he’s done very well for himself and became the man he wants to be. He’s just missing the wife and kids.
But I also respect Tayshia for this move as I have explained before but will again.
Does it suck to be blindsided like this? Absolutely.
But at the same time Tayshia is respecting these guys enough to break their hearts basically face to face, as privately as being on national television would allow.
And she is willing to offer them an explanation as to why she is doing it, which they would not receive at the rose ceremony. There you get an “I’m sorry” and a hug and you’re done.
Obviously, Riley is hurt. He asks her why, where did he go wrong? Unfortunately, this show is different from a normal dating scenario where she would be able to say “I don’t like X,Y and Z about you.”
Here she basically has to tell him he’s great, but there are just four other guys who she thinks are better.
But Tayshia knows what she wants and handles it I think with a ton of maturity. At this point of the game there are not any easy goodbyes. Everyone still around is pretty firmly entrenched into our hearts and Tayshia’s.
Part of me wonders if Riley should have gotten the one on one date over Blake. I feel like that would have been more productive than the Blake one.
But so long for now Riley, see you in like 10 minutes at the Tell-All.
— Riley Christian (@RileyDChristian) December 15, 2020
Bennett of Roses
We finally get to the big rose ceremony. Whoever gets a rose is onto the homecoming date round. The final four, with six guys left.
And just when the guys thought there would be only five of them and just one gets shipped home, in walks Bennett smiling ear to ear baby.
The guys are shocked and sort of upset. I think Bennett touches Zac on the shoulder and Zac snaps back with “Why are you touching me?”
Noah is shocked most of all. He knows he is already on thin ice, and Bennett coming back means he definitely didn’t win their feud.
Tayshia also throws the guys a curveball, saying there will be no cocktail party prior to the rose ceremony, that she has her mind made up of the final four guys she wants.
Bennett is feeling very confident, seeing that she wrote him a personal note asking for him to be at the rose ceremony tonight, so why would she invite him there if not to give him a rose?
Ben already has a rose, so we will see him next week.
Zac gets a rose, so we will also see him next week.
Ivan gets a rose, so yeah, we will see Ivan next week.
The final rose comes down to Bennett, Brenden and Noah.
Brenden got the rose. Which even as a big Bennett fan, I am happy about. Brenden certainly deserves it.
So Bennett and Noah are done. Bennett is confused, why invite him just to send him packing. But maybe Tayshia felt like she gave him his chance to leave gracefully, now he gets shoved out via rose ceremony.
Or perhaps him feuding, then coming back and saying he loves her was messing with her emotions so she thought, okay I’m going to mess with yours.
I would have liked to see Bennett’s family. Either they are all scarf wearing, pipe smoking, social elites.
Or they are the complete opposite of Bennett and would be wearing tattered t-shirts saying Roll Tide and a MAGA hat while chewing tobacco.
Either way I was intrigued but now I will never know.
Our final four is set with Ben, Zac, Ivan and Brenden.
Ed’s Three F’s
We get to the Men’s Tell-All where it’s pretty abbreviated from years past. Obviously there is no crowd and not all of the men are there, it’s sort of just a collection of a few of them.
The first item on the docket to discuss is Ed and Chasen’s beef. But with only Ed there to tell his side of the story.
Ed basically says Chasen was only there for the social media following and nothing else. Again saying that Chasen used the same phrases and words to describe his experience with both Clare and Tayshia.
Demar pushes back and says it’s not Ed’s place to judge Chasen. To which Ed says that’s probably true but he also just didn’t like Chasen and says he was the three F’s. A fraud, fake and a phony, to which Chasen is so stupid he probably thinks it’s spelled with an F.
— Jordan (@jrod2332) December 15, 2020
Chasen didn’t seem like the brightest bulb on the tree. He seemed all looks, no brain. A Zoolander male model.
More Noah And Bennett
We all wanted more Noah and Bennett drama right?
No not really, it’s pretty well documented and hashed out by now.
The only real extra drama that we get out of the tell all between Noah and Bennett is that Kenny tells Noah all he did was start drama. And Noah tries to burn him with “coming from the One Direction band party manager.”
Noah smirked after that and I don’t think he realized his joke didn’t land.
First off, if you’re the band manager for One Direction, my God, you are rolling in it dude. That’s not an insult, that guy has more money than you’ll ever know what to do with.
And even if he is just the party manager for them? His business credit card again has more money than you would ever see in your life and he’s obviously got some great drug guys. That guy has it made and calling him that is not an insult what so ever.
Noah claims Bennett talks down to everyone, to which Bennett asks the group did he do that? He admits sometimes he gives off that vibe just by how he carries himself. The rest of the group says no, that Bennett was always very respectful.
However Demar does claim that while Bennett never did it to him directly, that sometimes he felt like Bennett did talk down to younger people in the house. But couldn’t give him a specific instance.
Here is where I stand on the drama. At the end Bennett said he was sorry that there was drama and if Noah felt that way about him.
Noah said he would accept a real apology but can’t tell if that was real, other wise Bennett would always be a Harvard D-bag to him.
There in lies the problem. Does Bennett take digs and jabs at Noah? Sure. But Noah also just refuses to bury the hatchet. The word sorry and apologize did at least come out of Bennett’s mouth and yet Noah refuses to act mature and accept it in any way.
That’s why I’m on team Bennett. Noah sucks.
What we do end up getting though is Bennett handing out green juice to everyone at the tell all in nice champagne glasses except for one.
He gives Noah a sippy cup.
— Stephanie (@scde_de) December 15, 2020
Yosef Is Seriously The Worst
Remember Yosef? Like literally the worst person in 2020. His only redeeming quality is having the most punchable face ever with Travis Kelce being a close second.
Yosef started this season off with drama. He was called out for talking to girls on instagram leading up to the show to which he denied. But later girls came forward and called him out for it as he basically sends mass nudes to them.
Then he disapproved of the guys having to play strip dodgeball and get naked, even though he wasn’t even on that date.
He then brought it up to Clare. And while Clare is crazy, she actually handled it well.
But then he kept degrading her, interrupting her and treated her terribly.
Oh he also has a daughter and will not stop reminding you of that even though I highly doubt he is a father to her at all. She is simply a card he can play for sympathy or to try and help explain his deranged reasons.
It’s sad but I’ve seen real people in my life use their kids for nothing else than social media and excuses. It really happens.
They ask Yosef if he feels any regrets to how he treated Clare. They replay the tape before his very eyes and ask if he wants to walk back any of his comments. Trying to give this pond scum a chance to slightly redeem himself.
Nope. He has zero regrets. It’s his opinion and he will stick to it.
Riley and Jason call him pieces of crap. To which he tries to say “oh sure say that now months later.” And Riley tells him, “I am 10 feet away from you, right now to your face telling you that you’re a disgusting human being.”
Yosef keeps saying “I’m entitled to my opinion.”
Dude, you can have an opinion, but in no way shape or form is it right. An opinion does not make you right.
The Confederacy had an opinion about slavery. IT SURE WASN’T THE RIGHT ONE.
Having an opinion doesn’t mean you can walk around and treat people who have differing views like trash. That is the wire that is dangling unconnected, collecting cobwebs in Yosef’s empty and delusional brain.
The worst part is, Chris Harrison of all people stepped in and said he wants to try and help him and give him a chance to say anything redeeming at all.
CHRIS HARRISON. The most understanding and patient dude on planet Earth told Yosef, “you might want to rethink this decision.” And Yosef still said no it’s my opinion!
Harrison said it best “I tried to help.” There is no helping someone like that. Stay away from Yosef, he is an awful human being, the worst of our society. I wish nothing good for that guy. I would lend a helping hand to Joffrey Baratheon before this thing that calls themselves a human.
And I really hope I’m right and he isn’t an actual father to his daughter because no one deserves to be raised by someone like that.
Tayshia Comes Back
Tayshia returns to the tell all to talk to the guys she dumped. Mainly the ones we saw that night get the axe.
She tells Blake and Bennett sorry again but nothing is more hurtful than her and Riley’s reunion.
Riley said he was still heartbroken from that break up and then the producers made him re-watch that painful goodbye after he admitted to trying to repress the memory.
He had tears in his eyes and his voice wobbled as he tried to compose himself in front of Tayshia.
It was truly tough to watch but in the end she said what she said before. He’s a great man, he has nothing to be ashamed of or regretful of, but just not entirely what she was looking for.
Certainly a heavy episode last night so throw in some fun bloopers to make us all smile and remember the fun times.
Up Next: Hometowns
We are down to the final four men for Tayshia’s hear. Ben, Brenden, Ivan and Zac. And it seems like their families will be joining them at the La Quinta.
Some take aways from this preview.
First with Brenden, saying he is terrified about being engaged at the end of the show.
There always seems to be one smart one per season. Last year it was Madison who told Pete she didn’t want him sleeping with the other girls. Because it is pretty weird, to claim you had sex with two other girls like a few days you propose to someone else? Huh?
And now Brenden saying, hey falling in love is great but I’m suppose to propose to this person at the end of a reality TV show, like for real?
Brenden and Tayshia have both already been married so they both understand the seriousness of an engagement is.
As for Ben saying “I don’t know” to someone asking if he loves Tayshia. I’m not buying that. That’s tricky editing by the producers we’ve seen that before and I can see right through it.
In reality someone will ask Ben, if he loves her and he will say “100% no doubt about it.” Don’t let them fool you.
We are in the end game now.
Use Promo code “couchguy20” or “LLP” at Manscaped.com and grab some of the best tools in men’s below the belt grooming. Using the code will get you 20% off of your order AND free shipping. Help out the site and help out yourself by buying some products from Manscaped TODAY.