Markelle Fultz Needs to Be Shipped to the Moon
At the direction of his attorney, Raymond Brothers, @MarkelleF is scheduled to see a shoulder specialist early next week. Per Brothers, Fultz will not participate in team practices or games until after the the specialist has had a chance to evaluate him.
— David Aldridge (@davidaldridgedc) November 20, 2018
This has undoubtedly been the weirdest story in basketball since Fultz entered the league last season. I mean the man is just in shambles. Absolute shambles, I tell you. He is being advised not to play basketball by his LAWYER? His goddamn attorney has decided that he embarrassing himself so much on the basketball court that it would be in his best interest to just not show up. The last time lawyers had this much say as to what a player did on the court, Kobe’s number changed from 8 to 24.
We’ve seen players come into the league with big expectations and just totally botch it. Kwame Brown and Anthony Bennett, to name a couple. But I don’t know if there’s ever been a player to come in and just forget how to play the sport. Its like when Eminem OD’d and almost died in like 2007 and then just kinda couldn’t rap after that. Really though, just look at this:
The latest from Markelle Fultz at the FT line: pic.twitter.com/OJZPKEfvf1
— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) November 17, 2018
Markelle Fultz comes up with the rare double-clutch free throw.pic.twitter.com/AI4p1MliTJ
— Sporting News (@sportingnews) November 13, 2018
SHAMBLES! He literally doesn’t know how to shoot a basketball. He can’t even remember how he used to shoot a basketball. I’m not sure if anyone knows this, but there was a time when Markelle Fultz could shoot a basketball, and dare I say he was good at it. The past, however, is the past. Fultz isn’t at Washington anymore, instead he is an on fire garbage can getting mocked by NFL players:
Markelle Fultz… I’m sorry. 😔 (via @NFL) pic.twitter.com/ngkdorTBdi
— Overtime (@overtime) November 23, 2018
If I’m Fultz’s lawyer, I’m putting all my efforts into getting celebrations banned by the NFL again. If I’m Markelle Fultz, I’m heading on over to the rope store, conveniently located next to the rickety stool store. However, I am not him, so let’s see what his plan is:
Markelle Fultz would reportedly ‘prefer a fresh start’ outside Philadelphia https://t.co/K66d3JG3Mt pic.twitter.com/8W943d0Qrb
— UPROXX (@UPROXX) November 21, 2018
Gonna go right ahead and call this a bad idea. Philadelphia, the coaching staff, and the players have been coddling you for two years as you inexplicably shit your pants every time you have an open shot, and you think that you can just show up, still horrendous, to a new city and be welcomed with open arms?
It really doesn’t make any sense. The team has been nothing but supportive to him as he’s been the softest man to ever step on the court. Who could have possibly put Fultz in the position of wanting out?
“Somebody that’s close to Jimmy Butler told me Markelle Fultz is done. Jimmy is not going to sit there and coddle him. Jimmy is going to be like, ‘I was homeless at one point in my life. … You’re a No. 1 pick, and you can’t get your shot right?'” — @Chris_Broussard pic.twitter.com/LA9fJTHLc3
— UNDISPUTED (@undisputed) November 14, 2018
Oh yeah right Jimmy’s here.
Jesus Christ, though. I’d probably leave too if every time I bricked a free throw, a much larger man was calling me a pussy for having a bed to sleep in and still missing shots.
Great plan there by Philly. Let’s bring in a guy who is notably an asshole to every player he deems to be soft and see if that’ll help out our stick of butter wearing #20.
Fultz might not play another game as a 76er the way things are looking. Many people are wishing the best for him, hoping he figures out his problems and get his shot back. I do not. I want to see this only get significantly worse for Fultz. I want him to get traded to Phoenix and shoot 9% from the free throw line. I want his shot made into a Fornite dance that his young cousins will do at Christmas right in his face. I want him to one day be selected into the Shambles Hall of Fame, a hall of fame that im gonna try to start soon so he can be the first inducted. It’ll be in Worcester, the birthplace of shambles.
-Riley Banks (@rileybanks10)
You love fantasy sports but getting tired of the same thing every year? Stop it. Join ThriveFantasy today where you bet on only the top tier players and gain points based on prop bets. Sign up today using the Couch Guy Sports link NOW & get in on the action. (Must deposit a minimum of $10 upon signup and ThriveFantasy will MATCH that $10)