Fall Should Be Embarrassed with Itself

It’s November 15th – prime football weather, I’ve recently finished washing my apples, there are plenty of leaves left to fall and it just snowed 5 inches.

Fall is getting pushed around the ring by winter. Fall just came home early from work to find his wife in bed with Frosty. Absolute cuck job here. Pre-Thanksgiving snow? What is this communist Russia? Do you want to know why you never hear about a White Thanksgiving? Because it sounds savagely racist and very unnatural.

It’s bad enough Fall is such a beta that it let’s summer hang around until it can “find its own place”. Its 75 degrees until mid-October and then it snows in mid-November?! Fall is a four-eyed stepdad who just lost half of his visitation because his kids realized he can’t teach them any fortitude. It makes sense Fall doesn’t go by its former name, Autumn anymore.  It should be embarrassed to be a season.

I’m cold.

-Steak Jones (@Steak_Jones)

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