I’m a huge superhero fan. Ever since the Sam Raimi Spiderman moves came out in the early 2000s (plus the comics that used to be a part of the Boston Globe? Herald? It’s been so long I can’t remember) and Justice League was wowing me on Cartoon Network, I’ve loved the idea of super-powered humans and aliens protecting the world from various threats. But what if these heroes took their talents to the sports arena instead? As a baseball fan, I’m especially interested in what an all-superhero baseball team would look like. In fact, let’s do two: I’ll give the rundown of Team Marvel this week, and analyze Team DC in my article next week. Warning: there will be a excruciatingly large amount of puns.
Catcher: Iron Man
The Thing came in a close second with this one, but Iron Man already has the gear. He’ll definitely be able to modify his suit to look like catcher’s pads, and have a rocket-assisted arm to throw out would-be base stealers.
First Base: The Incredible Hulk
First of all, the Hulk will be a hard target to outthrow, considering he’s somewhere between 7 and 8 feet. Second, he’s loves to smash, and you want your first baseman to have at least some power at the plate. As long as he can keep his temper in check, he’ll be the ideal first baseman.
Second Base: Wolverine
Most of us are familiar with Hugh Jackman’s rendition of the character, and as much as I loved it, it’s not the most accurate to the comics, at least physically. Jackman’s stature of 6’3 doesn’t do Wolverine justice, as he stands just 5’3 in the comics. This short, stocky build isn’t the most ideal on a baseball field, but second base is probably the best position for him. He could also be a sort of super utility player, given how fast he can recover and heal from injuries. If anyone needs to miss a game, he can fill in at their spot.
Third Base: Beast
I considered a few options here for the Marvel starting lineup: The Thing, Colossus, and Luke Cage being a few, but ultimately I chose Beast. He’s got the size and reaction time to be a good fielder and hitter for the position, and he’s a plus in the IQ department as well. He’ll be able to help devise strategies and be the leader of the infield as a sort of player-coach. Plus he has a strong rapport with the manager.
You could make the argument Spiderman might be better to have in the outfield, but considering Nomar Garciaparra’s nickname in Backyard Baseball 2001 was “Spiderman,” I can’t not place him here. He’ll be able to web up any ball that comes his way, so it’s unlikely he’ll be committing any errors on the field.
Left Field: Black Panther
Black Panther has got it all: power, speed, agility, and durability. Just teach him how to play and he’d step in as a great outfielder. Both center and right are occupied, so he’ll slot in Left and be a great all-around sort of player.
Center Field: Mr. Fantastic
One word: range. Think of the range Mr. Fantastic would have in center field! Nothing would be able to get by him, and as long as he doesn’t have a noodle arm, he should be able to stretch himself into a decent player. Quicksilver would slot in here if needed.
Right Field: Captain America
With how hard Cap can throw his shield, I’d imagine he’d have the arm to play right field on the diamond. Also considering as a kid pre-serum he probably played in right or at second, I’m sure he’d feel right at home. Plus, he’ll be able to provide some more power to the Marvel lineup (as if it doesn’t have enough already).
Pitchers: Thor, Captain Marvel, Rouge
Considering Noah Syndergaard, I had to make Thor a pitcher for this team. Just like Captain America, too, he can throw his hammer pretty hard, so I’m sure a baseball would be nothing. Captain Marvel will be able to put an extra something onto her fastball, which will make her hard to string together hits against. Rogue has some of the classic powers (super speed and strength), plus she’s able to absorb powers away from others to multiply her own, and since it’s my list I’m going to act like she’ll be able to do that somehow on the field against her opponents.
That’s the starting lineup! Throw in Professor X as the Manager (as long as he doesn’t use his telepathy to steal signs) and Deadpool for a great locker room presence and you got a pretty formidable team! We’ll see how they stack up against the best of DC’s superheroes next week.
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