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The Bachelorette Episode 5 Recap

We are onto episode 5. A new beginning for the show after a dramatic and rocky first four weeks.

We have a new Bachelorette. Tayshia Adams is taking over for Clare Crawley who apparently has already found the love of her life in Dale Moss. No relation to Randy.

This was the first episode where Tayshia had the reigns of the show all to herself. And it didn’t disappoint. For anyone who hated Clare as the Bachelorette you are finally being rewarded for your loyalty.

Tayshia was energetic, interested and actually into every guy. Unlike Clare who made it over the top obvious that she like-liked Dale.

Does this mean we are done with Clare? NOPE.

She and Dale (hopefully) make their final appearance on this season with their individual tell-all. Though I wonder if they will be on the final one as well.

So without spoiling too much let’s just get right into this episode of the Bachelorette.

Auf Wiedersehen

Translating German to English this means “until we meet again” which is how we should have said good bye to Clare and Dale last week.

As I mentioned there was a brief tell-all/catch up between Chris Harrison and the two love birds.

My Wife’s applicable quote from this segment and just about Clare and Dale as a whole: “These two are just so puke.”

I agree, they are the couple that at a party you would ask if they wanted a beer or a glass of wine and they would use it as an excuse and or avenue to talk about how great a couple they are.

I’m interested to see how this looks down the road. When the cameras are gone, when the tweets stop tweeting about you. Basically when the glitz, glamor and fame fades what is your relationship like?

It’s easy to act in love in front of a camera. To do the right thing and act like a perfect gentleman or lady when you know people are watching and judging but what about after that?

Not to mention, it’s been like two weeks. When that initial burst of love and energy wears off what happens then?

This part was so cringe. Clare just yelling “BABIEEEEES” when asked what next? I mean I get it, she’s 39, the biological clock is ticking and fast. And you can physically see those letters squeeze into one side of Dale’s tiny, baby doll sized ears and out the other.

The man has to feel like a walking, talking sperm bank therapist. I mean that’s basically all he is.

Anyways, the real reason they are back on. Harrison once again asks them point blank if they talked before the show. To which they deny it.

I would like to believe them since Clare swears that by her Dad’s grave. But honestly they have nothing to gain by admitting that they did. I’m sure there would be legal issues between the show and them.

Clare again said how she on the down low, followed the guys on social media before the show to gain some insight into who was coming on. So I feel like that is already sort of cheating…

But who’s to say she didn’t create a burner account to talk to Dale and then delete it?

I need the internet to figure this out for me, did Clare make a burner account to stalk all of these guys? My gut tells me yes. Simply because she is DEFINITELY that crazy.

The Queen (And Others) Have Arrived

Enough about Clare and Dale. They suck.

Let’s talk about Tayshia. On last week’s recap I said how I felt bad for her. Coming into a group of guys who were not there initially for her.

And usually it’s the contestants who have to introduce themselves to the Bachelorette individually, not the other way around.

But I gotta hand it to her, she handled it exceptionally well. And the just about every guy already says she’s better than Clare.

She was attentive, talkative and brought and energy that was infectious to everyone.

But the real story about the first night was the four new additions to the group of guys.

Let’s break them now.

Spencer: More on him later but he already seems like just the absolute worst. I mean he comes in and says “Which one of you scared away Clare?” and then when they ask him “How many of you are there?” he responds with a cocky “You’ll see.”

Dude there are four of you, it’s not that hard to count and it’s even easier to try and be polite and get along with new people.

Tayshia says he’s hot, but I see his face as more punchable than anything else.

Noah: MUSTACHE.

So far that’s all we really know about him. He has a mustache. But from previews for the future weeks it seems like he becomes a villain this season. We’ll talk about him later.

Montel: Seems like a normal, totally cool dude. Only one issue. He rocked the pink/salmon suit.

Now I won’t get too much on his case because he wasn’t there from the beginning but sorry buddy, only Eazy can rock the pink/salmon suit.

Peter: For a brief moment I thought the producers brought Yosef back. freaked me out. But instead it’s this dude that I know nothing and care to know nothing about. He’s just part of the background if you ask me.

First Impressions

Remember that smiling turd known as Spencer? Well apparently he got a first impression rose.

This was after he walked in and tried roasting the 16 other guys who were already there. Then took Tayshia first to talk after everyone had been introduced. And then gets the first impression rose over the 16 other dudes who just got dumped by Clare?

I think this was the producers doing to try and mix the pot of emotional feelings. Had she given it to someone else, cool whatever. But Spencer ohhhhh that creates drama.

However all the credit in the world to my hero and role model in life, Bennett.

A kid who was still picking his nose on the recess playground when Bennett was taking advanced courses at Harvard gets the first impression rose and Bennett still has the class to congratulate him.

That’s a man. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Bennett is who I want to be when I grow up.

Lets Get Physical

Remember a few weeks ago when people were in an uproar over Clare making the guys strip down to their Birthday suits to play dodgeball? Yosef remembers.

But anyways, no shot the show doubles down on that…

I guess at least this time it was in a pool but still they made the men change into speedos for the first group date.

The date was then a friendly competition of water basketball.

Which I guess is called splash ball? Okay yeah that sounds better.

So the date is set, splash ball with the winner getting to spend a little extra time with Tayshia. Not the entire date like when they played Dodgeball and Blake was a sore loser and crashed it anyways.

But a BBQ and open bar. To which Eazy’s reaction said it all. Spending time with Tayshia, that’s cool, that’s nice. But a BBQ? Okay, okay. And an open bar? Oh DAMN now we are talking!

The other main take away from this group date is Spencer being the direct opposite of a cool person again.

He get’s super physical while playing and takes an elbow to the face for it.

I mean in Michael Scott’s book, that was a flagrant, intentional, personal foul which would end the game.

But on the Bachelorette, it’s a bloody lip that forces Tayshia to come over and baby sit him. What’s even worse is that Spencers team wins. He gets an awesome BBQ with free booze.

God I hate that guy.

Luckily for me, so does everybody else. It’s literally day two and this guy has already made enemies with basically everyone but Tayshia.

I mean Riley comes at him with the cracked ribs comment, he says they’re even. Which after an elbow to the jaw, yeah they’re probably even. But then says “If you want any more let me know.”

Like come on dude why are some people like this? You’re not better than everyone, you can’t just threaten to crack someones ribs like that and just expect everyone to like you.

To which he gets put on blast. They say he’s being a d–k and he says “I didn’t realize that.”

To which I say either, yes you did and you can’t own up to it. Or you think that’s actual pleasant acceptable behavior to which you need a few more elbows to the jaw to figure that out.

I know beautiful people are allowed to get away with a lot because they’re beautiful but god damn this dude needs a kick to the teeth.

Riley calls him lunch meet, more specifically “fried baloney” to which I have absolutely zero clue what that even means in the slightest.

The best part out of all of this however is that Eazy gets the group date rose. If it wasn’t for Bennett, Eazy would be the consensus favorite guy on the show. His facial expressions and reaction to everything is awesome. I’m glad he finally got some recognition for that.

Can’t Get Over the Demons

Remember Jason? He went on a one on one date with Clare and told her he doesn’t open up and has some demons?

To which Clare feigned interest and then forgot about him and tossed him to the side as quick as she could for Dale. God Clare just sucks.

Well Jason wrestled with the idea of staying on the show or not but just eventually came to the realization that he had feelings for Clare that he couldn’t get over and felt it was fair to Tayshia and everyone else that he left.

Jason is terrifying. Seeing as he wasn’t handling the whole Clare likes Dale more situation very well. And maybe for someone who has that many emotional demons and issues, maybe opening yourself to be emotionally vulnerable on a nationally televised show isn’t the best idea.

But for all of that said. All of the credit in the world to this guy. I’m sure most of the guys on this show could care less about who the actual bachelorette is. Seeing as that basically every single one stayed on for Tayshia after Clare left makes that apparent.

But this guy decided that his emotional well being was more important than instagram followers. And for that I salute him. God speed Jason, carry on man.

Free Shipping

Tayshia’s one on one date this week went to Brendan. And it was an instant connection. My wife has already “shipped” these two.

Brendan met Tayshia night one wearing a turtle neck. To which he admitted the other guys made fun of him calling him Steve Jobs (totally a Bennett roast).

But he’s a pretty shy and quiet guy. Not what you usually find on this show so it’s pretty refreshing.

The running gag, and I mean literally running gag.

Is that Chris Harrison interrupted Brendan’s time with Tayshia night one so that he could introduce her to the four new guys.

So when they ride around on horses and Brendan is trying to get some quality time with her and kiss her, Chris Harrison keeps popping up out of nowhere to interrupt.

I feel like Chris Harrison is really interjecting himself into this season because Clare was so awful. He is the super glue keeping all of this together.

Finally Brendan gets some alone time with Tayshia in the pool and they make out. How nice.

The connection grows at dinner when Brendan admits that he had already been married before. He says that he and his high school sweetheart simply just stopped loving each other. They got along fine living together but didn’t love each other anymore and decided to end it.

He see’s that as baggage but Tayshia admits the same thing. She has also been married before. Granted her ex cheated on her but still they share the same common bond. Which certainly helps, they both know how the end game looks and works compared to someone else.

They then get quite the fireworks show to cap off their night which can be seen and heard elsewhere around the resort.

Sure the Bachelorette is the main prize but there are plenty of bromances being formed here too.

Episode MVP: Tayshia Adams

Tayshia is the episode MVP by a mile.

In one episode she has already done more combined good for the show than Clare did in four.

Even the guys are talking about how much better she is. How her overall attitude is better. After the group date before Tayshia gave the rose to Eazy, she made a priority to point out two or three other guys and what she appreciated about them on that date.

Clare either gave a rose to Dale or to no one at all.

Episode Winner: Brendan

To go from turtle neck guy, to arguably top spot is quite the leap for quiet Brendan.

Bennett and Eazy might be everyones favorite contestants but Brendan’s soft spoken attitude and demeanor tugged at everyone’s heart strings. You can tell he is here for the right reasons. He just hopes to find love.

You go Brendan, see you next week buddy.

Episode Loser: Spencer

Dude came in thinking he was hot stuff and leaves this week with a swollen lip, being called a D–k and “lunch meat” again whatever that means.

And I honestly don’t hope to see him rebound from this. I would be happy to call him the episode loser every week until his punk ass gets tossed off this show.

I know, I know every season needs a villain. But I just hate this guy.

Looking Ahead

Oh yeah the drama returns next week!

Apparently there is a wrestling group date? Because what doesn’t bring out testosterone like wrestling for a single woman?

Apparently Noah makes a case for villain of the show by pushing himself onto group dates and getting mixed up in the drama of the wrestling fiasco.

And then Chasen calls Tayshia a “smokeshow” which gets Bennett and SpongeBob Squarehead all fired up. I mean I am always here for Bennett, he’s my number one dude. But I hate to break it to him, I think plenty of women would appreciate being called a smoke show.

But this is also classy AF, Bennett. He calls his women words like gorgeous, beautiful, radiant and Hottie with a body.

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Connor Ryan (@connoryan68/@PodVerbalCommit/@YourFantasy_CGS)

 

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