Ranking Each MLB Team’s #OpeningDay Hashtags

The MLB Opening Day hashtags have dropped so we need to take a look at whose social media game is still brutal headed into 2018.

30.

You guys stink. You just suck. I’m throwing the teams at the bottom who just flat out used their names and because it was between the Blue Jays and the White Sox, I need to throw the Jays at the bottom. They have the WORST fans in baseball. They only show up when their team seems like they could go deep into the postseason and when they’re struggling, the fans are no where to be found.

29.

You guys are alright. Appreciate that people in Chicago who also just call you guys the Sox. But get some creativity up in the marketing department huh?

28.

Love how these guys thought throwing in “MN” before Twins made it less lame. Or maybe they didn’t want people just finding pictures of hot twins when they searched for #Twins on Twitter.

27.

These guys are the most boring baseball team that you could imagine. They’re actually the New England Patriots of baseball. Everyone just expects them to be good every season. The hashtag matches who they are as an organization. Business. I think they’ve earned that clout.

26.

The Giants might be my favorite National League team. It was the Cubs up until they won but now I’m off of that bandwagon. This hashtag is still weak. No creativity. Bare with me here until we get to the juice.

25.

They didn’t get lumped in with the other hacks who only used their name for the hashtag because the Dodgers are the badasses of baseball. They’re just cool. They make the girls faint and the guys pee themselves. Easy 25. Still no creativity, but I can’t hate too much.

24.

Yeah, the Rangers are alright. Not much to say here. Can’t hate them. But now let’s get to the ones with some creative bones in their skeletal structure.

23.

I get the look of trying to just not be like the other chumps above and select #Mets. And in 2018 rocking acronyms is the name of the game. You can tell someone to SMD without actually cussing. Acronyms are a low key HUGE part to living as a millennial. Or high key. Idk. Sick joke. Ik.

22.

Someone drop in the Homer Simpson “BOOOOOORING” clip right here. Hey Colorado, you barely have a baseball team. No one cares that it’s your 25th anniversary. You guys are known now for pot so why didn’t you run with it? #RockyMountainHigh. Done. You woulda been number one. How do you like being 22?

21.

Are the Diamondbacks a young team? Is that what they’re trying to get at here? I honestly don’t know and I’m not trying to be facetious. Really, I’m not. I just don’t pay attention to the D-Backs ever. I know I love their manager, Torey Lovullo. He’s my guy. I wish he was managing in Boston but I’m cool with Alex Cora too. I’m cool, I’m cool.

20.

Tell me. What is bold about the Phillies? Nothing. You went out and got Jake Arrieta and thought picking up Clay Buchholz as a starting arm last year was a solid move. Pound sand.

19.

The only good thing about the Padres is Don Orsillo. And I couldn’t put Donny O anything higher than 20. He’s my guy. This one is lucky to be this high.

18.

I like this hashtag a little bit to be honest. And I get that most of the rankings above have just been some bashing. Whatever, I’m a little tired from a long day in the coal mines. But I like that I almost never think of the Mariners as a team associated with the color blue and they chose that as their target to be true to. Putting my mind in the mental pretzel that it needed tonight.

17.

This is when these hashtags start getting a little halfway decent. I’m starting to actually think instead of just rallying off why I don’t like your teams. Really not even the point of this blog but it just turned into me hating on numbers 20-30. But #DetroitSummers landed low because this hashtag makes it seem like Detroit is a destination to go to on vacation. I will never hear anyone say “Hey wanna go hit up Detroit? The place is an electric factory.”

16.

Meh. Alright. I like that they call themselves the Bucs as a nickname but like, eh.

15.

Is this supposed to make me want to come see the Orioles play? Have you ever seen Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds? Straight up sounds like a horrendous place to be no matter what time of day it is.

14.

Honestly if you’re a Red Sox fan like I am, you hate the Sox Twitter account. It actually might be the worst thing in sports. It lost me the day that it tweeted “Rivalry” with the flame emoji after the Yankees nabbed Stanton. Are we serious? Read the room. They hadn’t even made a move at that point. And just the fact that if I want to tweet about the Red Sox now, I have to use #DirtyWater stinks. It’s not relevant to anyone outside of the Red Sox fanbase because they most likely have no idea that that’s the song that plays after wins.

13.

Just kind of dull. I like the idea of it, but I’m not trying to be rooted in Oakland. I had to stop there when I was in California and let me tell you, I was not in a good spot of town.

12.

I HATE that the Yankees have a decent hashtag. These clowns have been sitting in the shadows for the past couple of years and now all of a sudden they’re back in the picture. Rocking any hashtag with the word “pinstripe” in it is going to get the masses going.

11.

What’s the Halo way? Being mediocre and holding on to the same manager that has coached you to mediocrity for the past 72 years? I just have a distain toward the Angels because they hide Mike Trout. A guy who should be the face of baseball but we never see him because he hides in the shadows of a mediocre franchise.

10.

Hitting the spanish speaking market is a fuego move. It translates to “Together Miami”. Bring everyone together now that Jeter’s running the show down there. He sold off everyone but still, come together and watch some baseball mis amigos!

9.

This is a pretty solid one but I had to dock it a point for not using #CatchingRays. Wayyyyyyy too obvious for you to not throw that one out there as the hashtag.

8.

The Indians are just a straight gritty team under the reigns of Tito Francona. Another Nicky Quag’s favorite. I love that man. Coming together and rallying is what got them to the World Series in 2016 before they ultimately tripped at the finish line.

7.

I love this one because it reminds me and hopefully all Washington fans that they have consistently had some of the best teams in both hockey and baseball and no one ever expects them to win. But every single year they trick us and make us believe for a second that their pursuit is actually going to land them in the finals.

6.

Such an irrelevant team but I appreciate them wanting to “Chop On” and keep moving forward. Perseverance. Get it tatted. Just no real desire to win but just keep on choppin’ and you might come close one day.

5.

This one was tough because I wanted it higher. Putting “Country” behind anything instantly makes it badass. It makes me think of a big farm boy who’s about to lay a beatdown on some squids down by the river.

4.

Ohhhhhh weeeee the top four are tough. The Cubbies are high key one of the most likable if not the most likable team in baseball. They embraced the entire fanbase and this hashtag during their World Series run and I was all about it.

3.

This one straight up scares the hell out of me. Yeesh. And it scares the hell out of me because the Houston Astros might actually step on everyone’s faces this year. They won it all in 2017 and have a legit shot at going backkkk to back (go back and say that in Drake’s voice). They’d be the first team to go backkkk to back since the late 90’s Yankees and if any team can do it, it’s them.

2.

I’m just into this one. Like yeah, we’re here because we were raised this way you peasants.

1.

I know that I said that the Cubs might be the most likable team in baseball… But the Brew Crew is so close that they could actually blow by them. After dropping that The Sandlot parody, I fell in love. And I read this hashtag and go, “Yeah, this is my effin’ crew”. I love these guys. They might not have the talent but they might win the World Series this year regardless. Done deal.

That’s it. Man am I disappointed in the Red Sox choice. I would have just loved it if they kept it #RedSox. Music to my Twitter fingers. Insane that the season kicks off this week too. I need a Red Sox, Yankees brawl this season. That’s all I’m asking for.

-Nick Quaglia (@NickQuag)