Kawhi Leonard Signing With New Balance Is the Most Boring Shoe Deal Ever Made

Truly a match made in heaven. Kawhi Leonard is undoubtedly one of the sneaky weirdest guys in all of sports. Now he signed a multiyear endorsement deal with your grandfathers favorite brand. The man is only getting stranger. Leonard had been under contract with Jordan up until July when he decided not to re-sign. It’s clear now why he didn’t. Obviously Jordan is all well and good, but they’re just a little too showy for old man Leonard. He’s looking for a shoe with the sort of personality that his laugh has:

Apparently  New Balance is making moves to get back into basketball shoes:

I don’t exactly know how you can re-launch a category that never existed, but good on New Balance for trying. And I know for a fact that New Balance never made basketball shoes because I would’ve had a pair laced up from 6th grade to Sophomore year. Nothing says “my god that’s his sixth charge of the game” like a shoe that you can also mulch the yard in.

New Balance was going hard after Gordon Hayward. Not sure why, though. I don’t know if Gordon really fits with New Balance’s target market. Obviously they’ve figured themselves out and have now signed Kawhi Leonard, a player much more marketable to the people who buy New Balances. If their plan continues working to perfection, Colin Kaepernick signature cleats should be on their shelves by January.

The scary thing is that Kawhi is playing incredibly right now and suddenly he’s going to be doing it in these:

He’s quite literally going to be the first person to ever dunk a basketball in a New Balance sneaker. Just imagine the embarrassment of a man putting up 30-10-6 on you in barbecue shoes?

Kawhi continues to maintain his brand of being the most boring guy in the world. I don’t know who his PR team is but they do an amazing job of making sure he does nothing remotely exciting. Move him to Canada, sign him with New Balance. All that’s left is getting him a show on NPR and by the time he retires he’ll pretty much be a black Larry King.

-Riley Banks (@Rileybanks10)

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