Okay boys and girls, it’s officially Friday, which means it’s Fried-ay, which means it’s time for my weekly incoherent rant on, well, anything. Normally, before I embark on these things, I make sure to clarify what these installments consist of considering I may have one or two new readers who’ve mistakenly clicked on this link.
However, I refuse to do that this time. I refuse to explain that Fried-ay blogs are essentially a collection of regurgitated dribble that I was unable to manufacture into a full blog throughout the week. I can’t do it and I won’t do it. Let’s get into it…
Okay, so I visited the good people at H&R Block earlier in the week. For the record, I understand there are a laundry list of products I could buy/employ in order to complete my taxes every year, but knowing me, I’d screw it up; therefore, I just allow “professionals” to do it. Not to mention, the IRS is an entity you just don’t want to piss off. Those people have too much information.
So anyway, this is my second trip to H&R block over the past month. The first time involved me addressing an audit. Turns out, the issue was definitively not my fault. I guess the “experts” in green fucked this one up, which was good because I wasn’t about to shell out another $200 to Uncle Sam because “Lauren” hacked her way through the 15-minute/$250 process.
So anyway (X2), I do my taxes and everything’s going great until the very end, where they hit you with the “Do you want to insure this tax return?” question. Like what? I have to insure this? Isn’t that what I’m paying the fee for? I mean, the whole point I’m coming here in the first place is for the insurance I won’t get audited. That’s why I’m paying you the deplorably overpriced fee, remember?
But no, not only do you have to pay nearly $300 for one of their “experts” to punch a few keys, you ALSO need to pay an additional fee to make sure they do it right. Conceptually, that’s absolutely RIDICULOUS. Like, if that “insurance” was built into the initial fee, I don’t think I would even care. Just the fact I have to pay extra to make sure I don’t go to jail for fraud is insane. That’s like hiring a carpenter to build a deck, and two weeks later—after the deck collapses—the guy tells you “well, I mean, you didn’t buy the insurance…”
DUDE… YOU”RE THE INSURANCE. GOD DAMNIT!!!
In other news, my SkullCandy headphones recently broke. For those unfamiliar, I wear headphones roughly 75% of an average day so this was a devastating state of affairs. It’s also good to note that, in my opinion, SkullCandy offers the best quality as it pertains to relatively affordable headphones. It’s just they break 5 minutes after you buy them.
Luckily, SkullCandy offers a two-year warranty because they know most people won’t go through the trouble of packaging their defected product, shipping it to the manufacturer, and waiting two weeks for the new pair. Well guess what SkullCandy? I’m not your average duckling.
I packaged that shit up, shipped it, and waited the 3-5 business days SkullCandy said it would take to process. A week and a half goes by and I call up. Obviously, no answer; however, my call was very important to them (they made sure to inform me of that 10-12 times throughout the call). Eventually, I retired to Gmail and sent a couple emails. Obviously, no answer; however, my email was very important to them (they made sure to inform of that 10-12 times throughout the email).
The next day I called, sat on the phone for 20 minutes, and FINALLY got a human. The woman was nice and informed me the reason things were taking so long was because they were out of stock of the defective headphone product I sent it. Like what? You’re the manufacturer. This isn’t Best Buy or Circuit City. How the hell are you out of stock at your corporate warehouse? Whatever…
I take the coupon, navigate back to the product page, and peruse the items that weren’t “out of stock.” According to my coupon, I had roughly $70 worth of credit to their site (what I initially paid) but the only products that weren’t “out of stock” were the lesser models. Thus, I was faced with two options: one, stand up for my rights as an American consumer and fight the system; or two, just take it up the ass like I always do. Take a guess what I did…
Tiger just plunked two in the water at 17. Just when I thought things were moving in the right direction, GOD slaps me on the ass and hands me a “better luck next year…”
– Joey Boats (@joey_boats)