A woman from New York was attacked by a great white shark earlier this week. Even sharks instinctively hate New Yorkers. This shark swam past all of those nice people from Maine and attacked the person from New York. They probably saw the shark and yelled “Hey! I’m swimmin’ here!” or “27 rings!” And this New England shark heard enough. The noted Red Sox fan attacked the beachgoer.
I am spending the week at the beach so this one hits close to home. After I heard about this I decided I was not going into the ocean the rest of the time I was here. I will die of a heatstroke before I will be eaten by a shark. I am terrified of going out that way. Just nothing but panic and blood. That doesn’t sound like my idea of a good time. And while we are at it, the beach stinks. I hate being sandy and hot. Name one good thing about the beach i dare you. I’ll take it one step farther. Summer is the worst season. Once you are an adult you have no excuse to like the summer. It’s hot and mosquitos will destroy your legs. I am so out on summer. People don’t get attacked by sharks in the winter, I rest my case.
-Jon Sensi (@jon_sensi)