This week I wanted to have a little fun with my article. Sure, I love writing about what’s going on with the Patriots, but sometimes that gets a bit repetitive. I mean, how many times can I talk about N’Keal Harry, Stephon Gilmore or one of the new additions to the team this season? So like I said, we’re going to have a little fun with this one and cast Patriots players as Marvel Avengers.
Side note: There are no guidelines here. Some players are picked because of their looks. A few are sorted due to their personality. Others just…feel right. I may do more of these with all New England sports and more Marvel characters. Stay tuned. Enjoy!
Captain America: Matthew Slater
In case you aren’t aware, in the Marvel movies, the Captain America we all know and love is no longer around. And the poetic symmetry between that and our real life situation is too blatant to deny. Tom Brady was always our Cap, but he is now an enemy of the state, so someone else had to take up the shield. And who better than All Pro player/human being, Matthew Slater! He’s the longest tenured Patriot and carries himself in the manner Captain America would approve of. I could easily see Slater rallying the troops before battle. Instilling confidence in his teammates no matter what the odds are. That’s my captain and that’s my Captain America.
(Also, there’s now a black Captain America in the MCU, so it felt right to do the same here as well)
Iron Man: Bill Belichick
Genius. Billionaire. Playboy. Philanthropist. All qualities that describe both Tony Stark and Bill Belichick. Okay, maybe not every quality, but it still works. Tony Stark is a cocky, overconfident, stubborn man and, while things normally work out despite these traits, they do sometimes come back to bite him. Belichick is the same way. Always thinking you’re the smartest man in the room doesn’t always work out in your favor. Whether it’s draft choices or gameday decisions (Malcolm Butler anyone?), sometimes Bill outthinks himself. But in most cases, like his Marvel counterpart, at the end of the day, his big smart brain evens out the odds and saves the day. Iron Man is viewed as the leader of the Avengers, and Belichick is the leader of the Patriots.
Thor: Chase Winovich
You saw this one coming, right? I mean, for starters, the resemblance is undeniable. But aside from their flowing locks, Chase and the God of Thunder have more in common than you’d think. They’re both somewhat wild cards who shoot for the hip more than you’d like. There were a plethora of times last season where Winovich was caught over pursuing and it cost his team. Our buddy Thor has been known to get a little excited and cost his team as well. “You should have went for the head” type of stuff. Both have an incredible amount of talent and potential, but harnessing that is sometimes a challenge. In fact, they’ve both been penalized for their overzealousness. Thor got his powers stripped and was sent to Earth while Winovich has been put in the proverbial doghouse a couple times in his short career. But at the end of the day, these are two fun-loving, fun guys that you want to go out and have a beer or 10 with.
Hawkeye: Devin McCourty
I know some people may see this as a slight to D-Mac, but let me explain. Both Clint Barton and Devin McCourty are wildly underappreciated outside their respective teams. They never get the credit they deserve but they are always around as a vital member of the crew. Much like Hawkeye sits atop buildings and picks off bad guys one by one, McCourty sits in the backend of the defense and picks up receivers. They both watch from a distance and attack when they see something bad unfolding. And with both of their careers likely coming to and end sooner rather than later, that just makes this comparison all the more fitting.
Black Widow: Sony Michel
This one was tough, but I think Michel fits the bill. Both Black Widow and Sony Michel have a tumultuous relationship with their respective fanbases. One day they’re loved and touted as a crucial part to the team, the next their almost forgotten. When we first met Natasha Romanoff in Iron Man 2, she was the a firecracker. An immediate fan favorite, it was fun to watch her work. But then fans seemed to grow tired of her and question what she even contributed to the team. The same could be said for Sony. Fans loved him when he was running his team to a Super Bowl win in 2018, but after that he was shunned. And love seems to be coming back somewhat for Michel as this may be his swan song with the Pats, just like the Black Widow love is at a fever pitch after her final MCU appearance. Also, “Michel” sounds like “Michelle” and Natasha Romanoff is a girl so…that works out too.
Hulk: Dont’a Hightower
Easy one for me here. Hulk crushes people like it’s his job. Hightower’s job is literally to crush people. Both of these guys seem cool, calm and collected at first, but when it’s go time, look out. The Hulk is the Avengers secret weapon, and Hightower assumes that exact role with the Patriots defense as well. Need I remind you of the Super Bowl against the Falcons?
Use the Promo code “couchguy20” or “LLP” at Manscaped.com. Grab some of the best tools in men’s below the belt grooming. Furthermore, using the code you’ll get 20% off of your order AND free shipping. Help out the site and help out yourself by buying some products from Manscaped TODAY.
Tired of soreness and pain slowing you and your workouts down? Change that. Melt stress away anytime, anywhere with the ExoGun. Designed to give you the ultimate recovery utilizing percussive therapy and deep tissue massage, it will change your recovery life FOREVER. Follow this link (Exogun) for 10% off or use code promo code CGS10 at checkout!
-Mike Sullivan (@msully5433)
(Featured Photo Credit: joystudiodesign.com)