Tiger Is In Contention For A Major And I Am Convulsing With Happiness
(Disclaimer: Yes, I’m aware that the leaderboard will likely change later this afternoon. Sue me! Except please don’t cause legal fees would drain my weak and meager bank account.)
Hey, everyone. I have something extremely, extremely important to tell you. But before I say it, just promise me you wont freak out. You promise? Okay, good. Here it is: Eldrick Tont Woods is in contention for a Major Championship. In the year 2018.
TIGER IS BACK!
Today our dear friend put on a bit of a clinic at Carnoustie Golf Links in Angus, Scotland. He committed multiple counts of assault and battery on flagsticks, tore the cover off numerous golf balls with his driver the way Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez did to that baseball in The Sandlot, and he whispered sweet nothings into the bottom of about 18 holes with his putter. It was an incredible display of artistry that left me dripping in sweat and covered in goosebumps.
In all honesty, when Tiger sticks an iron next to the pin, or sinks a 7-trillion foot putt, I literally feel the way I did in middle school when I asked Katie Kane if she would go to the movies with me and she said yes. All of the butterflies. Every single one. Eldrick just has this aura about him.
Now don’t get me wrong, guys like DJ and Spieth and Ricky – they are crazy fun to watch too. I truly enjoy watching them play each and every tournament they enter. But no one, and I mean no one, makes it move like Tiger. The guy is in his own stratosphere.
And that leads us to Sunday. Do you know how ridiculously excited I am to see my favorite jungle cat wearing a red polo tomorrow and it actually meaning something??? I’m getting all hot and bothered just thinking about it. Major Championship Sunday with Tiger Woods in contention is 100% must watch television. I, for one, cannot wait.
Here are some tweets from Tiger’s round today:
1st birdie on the card ⭕@TigerWoods is 5 back at #TheOpen. pic.twitter.com/TSKXQfFvHr
— Golf Channel (@GolfChannel) July 21, 2018
Making the turn with a Tiger fist pump!
He’s 3 back. #TheOpen pic.twitter.com/qbaMo7fXmW
— Golf Channel (@GolfChannel) July 21, 2018
Pedestrians beware… there’s a Tiger on the prowl at #TheOpen 🐅 pic.twitter.com/PP54nljSn2
— Golf Central (@GolfCentral) July 21, 2018
🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅is tied for third place.
— Tiger Tracker (@GCTigerTracker) July 21, 2018
Tiger right now #TheOpen pic.twitter.com/cbfZaAw8Ii
— Shooter McGavin (@ShooterMcGavin_) July 21, 2018
🚨🚨🚨🚨TIGER WOODS IS TIED FOR THE LEAD ON SATURDAY AT THE 147TH OPEN CHAMPIONSHIP 🚨🚨🚨🚨
— Tiger Tracker (@GCTigerTracker) July 21, 2018