South Park’s Black Friday Throwback

Now that Thanksgiving is officially over, it’s time for Black Friday. Yes, Black Friday, the one day a year Americans across the country lineup outside of stores to buy things at discounted prices. With the pandemic going on, just like everything else, Black Friday looks different this year. Yes, there was still camping outside of stores, but not at the usual rate. However, nothing will be like what happened a few years ago when the Xbox One and PlayStation 4 were both on sale for Black Friday.

South Park

On November 13th, the first of three episodes for the South Park Black Friday trilogy aired. The main theme of trilogy revolved around the console wars between Sony and Microsoft. Just like this year, Sony’s Playstation and Microsoft’s Xbox were the hot items for Black Friday. On top of that, South Park themed this trilogy in the style of Game of Thrones. The episode opens up with the South Park mall security team making preparations for Black Friday. The “management” of the mall announced that everything would be 80% off for the first ten people which is heavenly for Black Friday shoppers. Randy Marsh is seen as one of the security officers but he took the job for the wrong reason. In typical Randy Marsh fashion, he took the job so that he could be the first person in the mall.

How the war starts

Originally, it appeared that all the kids were all in on the Xbox One. A solid choice. However, in the middle of training, it is announced that the army has grown and one of the kids shouts out his happiness about the Xbox One. This leads to Craig and Stan to be confused since they were under the impression that this was all for the PlayStation 4. Another solid choice. This leads to division among the army which ruins the original plan. With the Xbox One army consisting of Cartman, Princess Kenny and Kyle it seemed unlikely that the PS4 army would stand a chance. The PS4 army consisted of Stan, Craig and a few other side characters. However, the first part of the trilogy hits the viewers hard. It is revealed that Princess Kenny has switched sides and is now the leader of the PS4 army.


The war continues

With Princess Kenny choosing to switch sides, Cartman is irate. With Princess Kenny officially siding with the PS4 army, the army suddenly gains popularity. The goth kids who at first had no interest in joining in on the fight, are seen at the PS4 army base, along with others. Cartman, being his arrogant self, ignores the fact that Xbox One army’s chances of winning are slowly diminishing. The best part of this trilogy is that Bill Gates and the head of sony get involved in this. Both Gates and the Sony head even acknowledge that theres a “small town in Colorado” going to war about this. To take the lead in the console war, Sony announces a bundle for anyone who buys a PS4 that includes an automatic pre order of the popular game Metal Gear Solid 4.

Microsoft’s responds, Sony attacks again

In response to the bundle, Bill Gates steps in. Steve Balmer appears to not really care and underestimates the war that is going on in South Park. Gates forcefully removes Balmer from the picture and takes things into his own hands. Gates gives the Xbox One army real weapons. Yes, Bill Gates gave the kids weapons for a console war. Keep in mind, since the theme is Game of Thrones, they were already running arounds with swords and bow and arrows. It seemed like everything was going in Microsoft’s way but then Sony surprises everyone. To gain a huge advantage, The Head of Sony travels to South Park to give Princess Kenny a crown to officially make Kenny a Japanese princess. Basically, the Xbox One army can’t stop the PS4 army.

A tough decision

Cartman now faces a difficult decision. He has to give up, or try a sneak attack on Black Friday. In order to gain an advantage, he sends Butters and Scott Malkinson to George R.R. Martin’s house to gain an advantage to see if there is a last resort way to beat the PS4 army. Due to George R.R. Martin not giving any vital info, Cartman is forced to give up and pledge his allegiance to the PS4… or so we thought. While all of this was going on a new Elmo doll was announced and the South Park mall announces a new deal for the 100 people inside the mall. For the first 100 people, the mall is 96% off. The mall did this in memory of fallen secuirty officers who sadly passed trying to fight off crazed Black Friday shoppers.

The Red Robin Wedding

Yes, this is how the red wedding from Game of Thrones is parodied. The two armies come together and send invitations out for the Red Robin wedding. All appears to be going well. Cartman is seen walking to Clyde telling him to get ready for their plan. What’s their plan? The plan is to lock everyone inside the Red Robin and make a run for it to GameStop to get the Xbox One. There is a huge problem though. That problem is Kyle. Kyle learns about that Cartman betrayed Stan and got him grounded so he betrays Cartman, and sets up an attack. However, out of nowhere, Stan is seen locking the doors and Bill Gates and The Head of Sony appear and fight to the death to decide which console the kids are going to buy. In the end, Bill Gates wins and Cartman buys a Xbox One.

Cartman’s Realization

While playing on his brand new Xbox One, Cartman comes to realization that he doesn’t need the Xbox One to have fun. He says to everyone to go play outside. After doing nothing but being outside for days, being inside was something that they didn’t want to do. Cartman find a stick and wants everyone to play with it. Cartman lifts it in the air, and an advertisement comes acorss the screen for the South Park game Stick of Truth. So yes, even when South Park attempts to teach a lesson about playing outside, they use it as an advertisement to stay inside and play games… on the Xbox One and Playstation 4.

-Matt Burnett (mattthew_jordan on Twitter) 



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