Monkeys In Lopburi Will Not Stop Having Sex Plain And Simple

I genuinely can’t tell if this is real. I read the article and it’s from a verified twitter account and I still have no clue. Sex crazed monkeys overtaking a city? This is a rousing game of 2020 headline or made up story.

Talk about monkey business am I right? Well if your idea of business is being sex crazed, overrunning a city, and eating yourself to death. People are starving in the world. Real life people! And these monkeys could give two shits about them. Just stuffing their fat faces until they literally die! I publicly disavow these monkeys!

I’m sure this is not funny for the people of Lopburi… but can we agree it’s funny for the rest of us? In the midst of a global pandemic these people are sheltering in place because a sex crazed monkeys. That’s bananas! (Get it?).

But surely the local authorities are handling this. It must be under control. Oh just kidding they are just trying to hit them with a slingshots to scare them away and have basically conceded the city. The monkeys enacted Marshall Law over a city. And they just let it happen. Not to over simplify this but can’t they just poison all the bananas? That seems like it would solve the problem. Just spit ballin here.

-Jon Sensi (@jon_sensi)


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