JetBlue Commercials Are Wildly Misleading

I’m writing this from my seat by my gate for my flight to Florida. I’m about to enjoy a nice vacation at the expense of my girlfriend’s dad. Shoutout to him. But I barely ever take planes so this is all still relatively new to me.

I went to California last year but I took United because it was right around the time that they dragged a man off of the flight so tickets were DIRT cheap. Saving money is kind of my thing. Drag me around the plane all you want just as long as I’m getting tickets at a discounted price.

But today, on my way to Florida, I’m riding JetBlue. I hear phenomenal things about JetBlue. My buddies love it and the commercials make it seem like it’s the ride of your life. Which it very well might be. Like I said, I’m writing this while I’m sitting by my gate. But the commercials for JetBlue, man. They make EVERYONE who works for the company seem like they can’t get enough of their job. They make it seem like I’m going to meet people who are going to brighten up my dull day. Which granted, I get it. It’s just a commercial but my expectations are decently high. I’m borderline excited to get this adventure going. And then I start meeting these people, and they all act like they hate me.

I mean, is it me? Did I do something wrong? I’ve thrown on slabs of deodorant today. I want to make sure that I’m smelling decent for the people sitting next to me. I’ve been assigned the emergency aisle so if I need to play hero, I need to make sure I smell okay while saving lives. It’s my thing today.

But I first met the baggage claim lady and she wanted nothing to do with me. First I’m being told that they can’t print out my second flight’s boarding pass (because I’m going to Key West) meanwhile EVERYONE ELSE that I’m with had their second boarding pass printed. Whatever, I’ll handle that down in Tampa Bay. No big deal.

But God damn, this woman despised me for even mentioning the idea of printing me out my second ticket. And when someone else that I was with mentioned it, she was rattled. At that point, you pipe up because you don’t want to get left behind. I’ve seen enough videos at this point to know that you don’t screw around and argue with airport workers or flight people because you’ll get your ass left wherever you are.

And now at my gate, I even have this lady hurling all different types of information at me. At first, I’m told I need to recheck my bags in Tampa Bay. First of all, no. I’m not paying another $25 to have it rechecked. I’d rather go to Key West with one outfit and strictly go to the bar that encourages that you go naked. I’d rather be naked than spend another $25.

So we sort that away, and before I go, I ask if they really can’t print out my second boarding pass that I’ll need in Tampa. At first, the lovely woman says yes. Then she goes to look and shuts me down. And with good reason. I trust her. But I’m just being turned around in a million different directions.

Listen, I’m giving everyone involved in my time here the benefit of the doubt. Working at an airport must STINK. Traffic at every hour of the day. Grumpy people. But man, was I disappointed to know that not every Jet Blue worker is jazzed up to see me like I saw in the commercials.

Update: I’m with a group of seven and they literally lost all of our bags. Zero made it from Tampa Bay to Key West. That nude bar might be the move tonight.

-Nick Quaglia (@NickQuag)