So you know how Jesus was supposed to return to the Earth after he died?
Well, it appears that he’s secretly been living among us for years in the form of a basketball player. And that basketball player just so happens to be one of the most transcendent players in NBA history, Allen Iverson. Earlier today, an old Sports Illustrated article resurfaced in which his mother describes how Iverson was conceived.
— Seth Rosenthal (@seth_rosenthal) March 6, 2018
Scientifically speaking, none of this adds up. How could AI’s mom have carried a child if she never even had sex? There is only one logical answer to that question, Allen Iverson is the chosen one. He was placed inside of his mother by the basketball gods to change the game forever. If you’ve ever seen Star Wars, it’s pretty similar to how Anakin Skywalker was born. He was created by some higher being and placed inside of his mother to bring balance to the force, even though that didn’t really work as planned.
Anyways , back to Iverson. A lot of folks might say that because he never won a championship, there’s no way he can be Jesus. Why wouldn’t Jesus make himself win every single year? Well, the reason is quite simple, it would have made things way too obvious. I’m sure AI doesn’t want anyone to know that he’s the second coming, and winning one or multiple titles would have made that blatantly obvious.
But you don’t have me fooled, Iverson. This explains why he so easily crossed the shit out of Michael Jordan at such a young age.
So I think I’ve pretty much cracked this case, Allen Iverson is Jesus. He thought that he had all of us fooled over the years, but not me.
-Nick Cherico (@NickCherico2)