Couch Guy Sports Fantasy Football League Recap: Week 1

What’s this, you ask? Why it’s the first recap for the inaugural Couch Guy Sports Fantasy Football league! For context, it’s a 10-teamer, PPR league. 10 CGS contributors, 1 title belt. Some pretty stacked squads, so it’s bound to be a fun season.

The basic rundown of these weekly recap blogs is as follows. Recap the previous week’s matchups, analyze a smidge, and lastly, talk a bit of trash.

Week 1 Matchups and Recaps:

Fresh Prince of Helair over Small State Big Cakes (131.96 to 89.64)

Pretty easy matchup for Mr. Vice President this week against yours truly (Shoutout @TRULYSELTZER). However, Jared Scali has the power of dad strength behind him, something I wish I realized before this matchup. Before the 1:00 pm kickoff, I tried to engage in some friendly trash talk on Sunday. Not only did he not respond and engage in the Twitter banter (big flex by him in ignoring it publicly), but it totally backfired on me. Shortly after tweeting, I learned Miles Sanders was officially out. From that moment on, I knew I had played myself.  

On top of that, I looked back on the twitter thread and realized Jared Scali doesn’t even follow my podcast account! What an absolute flex. My self-esteem could not have been lower going into the 1:00 pm games this week. I think Scali might be the zen-master of this league, playing mind games to screw with his opponents. If so, it’s working.

Scali’s Dominance

Scali’s team had a great week, lead by big performances by Clyde Edwards-Helaire and Calvin Ridley. Ridley went OFF against what should be a Seattle defense that’s ripe for betting against. Everything went right for Scali’s skill position players this week. Moving forward, that might need to be the case if he intends to be a true contender. Just saying, with Daniel Jones at the helm (and no backup QB on the bench), he seems a move or two away from being a favorite to win it all. That being said, he’s got a great core of a squad, and hasn’t even had Danny Dimes, AJ Brown, or Boswell play. He could put up 140! Strong opening week overall. 

As for ‘Small State Big Cakes’ performance, it’s simply not a recipe for success when one’s first 2 draft picks combine for 4.7 points!!! If Michael Thomas is injured I might be in serious trouble, but for now, I’m at about DEFCON 4. Without Miles Sanders, my RB depth is looking mighty suspect. Not a good trait for a team to have in week 1 during one of the thinnest RB groups in ages. 

Either way, Jared Scali easily bested me this week, and all I can do is look forward to a potential rematch in the playoffs!

Matchup MVP: Calvin Ridley (33.9 pts)

Calvin Ridley's TD keeps Falcons alive vs. Seahawks

Not much to add here. Ridley went absolutely bonkers. If this breakout is legit, and he stays relatively close to matching Julio’s production this season, Ridley could be a sneaky league-winner. 

Matchup Letdown: Michael Thomas (4.7 pts)

Michael Thomas Injury Update Raises Huge Red Flag Around Fantasy Outlook

Honestly so many options to pick here from my under-performing squad. Michael Thomas only accruing 4.7 points via 3 receptions for 17 yards is likely the best choice. That being said, the poor guy has a high-ankle sprain, which is disappointing, but not necessarily his fault. Sorry MT. 

P.S. I played two teams this week with the same name of ‘Fresh Prince of Helaire’, and lost both games. The power of Will Smith right here. Might need to rethink my team name.

Boston President Quags over Team Nahigian (162.04 to 108.58)

Listen, let’s get this disclaimer out of the way. I may have lost this week, and I will probably lose again… BUT I am here to recap the week. That means making observations, providing some analysis, and most importantly, to talk shit.

Al, it’s all love, but you NEED a real team name here. Having ‘Team Nahigian’ as the team name is totally unacceptable. I know you’re busy, and I can relate, but this needs to change ASAP. It’s not even that he doesn’t have a bunch of lame players without notoriety. The options are endless with this squad! Even an OBJ feces-related joke is better than just the stock ‘Team Nahigian’! Enough for now. We’ll circle back next week if Al hasn’t named his team by then. 

Quags’ Drags Al Through the Mud

As for the actual matchup, poor Al really never had a chance. Quags, as red as a can of tomato soup, called his shot. Quags set the tone for the season to the rest of the league with a major shit-talking video prior to the 1:00 pm games. It proved to work, as Josh Jacobs went off for him with a massive day for the Raiders. Also, Adam Thielen proved himself still a great WR1 despite the departure of Stefon Diggs in Minnesota. Quags has a deep squad, as evidenced by putting up a ton of points, and also leaving a couple of solid to big performances on the bench. 

Quags’s 14th round selection was Aaron Rodgers, and that could be a draftday slide that haunts many of us this year. If MVP-level A-Rodg is truly back, Quags can start his QB on a week to week matchup basis. Between Rodgers and Dak, there should be a 25+ pt performance for Quags to unleash on some poor soul. Or perhaps Rodgers is best seen as trade bait? To be honest, if Jared Scali were to acquire Rodgers to supplant Daniel Jones as his QB1, I’m probably bumping up the VP to bonafide contender status.

All is Not Lost for Al

Al’s team performance was actually pretty consistent across the board of his top picks. Russel Wilson put up over 30 pts. Alvin Kamara and Kenyan Drake combines for nearly 40 pts. The glaring position that didn’t produce for him however, was definitely his wideouts. Odell Beckham Jr. only put up 5.2 pts, and a limited Mike Evans only mustered 7.2 pts against the Saints. CeeDee Lamb was solid, but it’s going to take more than your best WR to put up 10.9 pts to win in a 10-team PPR league. That being said, it shouldn’t be often Evans and OBJ combine for a measly 12 pts. 

Matchup MVP: Josh Jacobs (35.9 pts)

Jon Gruden gives Josh Jacobs legendary comparison after Raiders' win

Huge day for one of the most inspiring athletes in American sports right now. If you don’t know Jacobs’ story, you should take a moment to read up on it. 

That aside, Josh Jacobs is an absolute beast of an RB1, and this is likely not the only time he’ll be leading the charge for a Czar Quags win. 

Matchup Letdown: Odell Beckham Jr. (5.2 pts)

Odell Beckham Jr Gets Blindsided At The Gold Room In Atlanta -

Tough week for OBJ. First the ‘poop-stuff’ goes all through the news cycle (to each their own, I’m not here to judge), and now this shit-storm of a game?! Pretty sure when Al drafted OBJ, he didn’t expect to be getting a WR1 that has 3 receptions for 22 yards on 10 targets! The Browns had a rough day all around, but this was just an abysmal day for OBJ. Things can only go up from here… right?!?!

Boston Antidote over Team Buckley (139.8 to 103.42) 

I said it to Al, and I’ll say it to Brent as well. We need a team name!!! This isn’t some fantasy league you join and draft with all randos then forget about for 6 week stretches. 

Boston Antidote, led by Diego Galvis, had a great week, led by his Ravens. Though taking Lamar Jackson in the 2nd round was bold, pairing him with Mark Andrews was a wide choice. So far, doubling down on the prolific Ravens offense to replicate their 2019 season has worked out for Diego. 

Bucked by a Half Chubb

Team Buckley, Brent Buckley’s team, had a touch and go week, with some big performances, and big letdowns. Deshaun Watson did what he had to, with a solid 20 point week, as did Chris Carson, leading the pack with 24.6 points. Nick Chubb left much to be desired however, with an uninspiring 5.6 points for the day. On top of that, Buckley’s D/ST and kicker did next to nothing, making that Chubb performance that much more devastating. 

Not a single starter for Diego failed to surpass 10 points scored. I don’t care who you’re playing in a given week – that’s tough to beat. 

Matchup MVP: Mark Andrews (22.8 pts)

Baltimore Ravens highlights: Mark Andrews catches 1st TD of 2020

Sure, Lamar Jackson scored more points, but to a certain degree, we expected something close to that point total of 27.5. Mark Andrews is my MVP of the matchup here. Andrews was efficient as hell in Week 1. 6 targets, 5 receptions, 2 TDs. Only 58 yards? Doesn’t matter. A 2-TD performance will play any week! 

Matchup Letdown: Nick Chubb (5.6 pts)

Silent assassin' Nick Chubb leads Browns by example | Browns | news-herald.com

Don’t get it twisted, I like Chubb and understand the Browns were losing basically the whole game – but DAMN. 10 carries for 60 years and just a single 6-yard reception? We need more! Browns HC Kevin Stefanski needs to start feeding Chubb ASAP. Simply can’t let a guy like him only get 11 touches in a game. 

Team Waleed over Danvers Powderpuffs (123.1 to 106.6)

Another non-named team here!!! Waleed, c’mon man! For what it’s worth, teams in this league with ‘Team X’ names are only 1-2. Correlation is not causation, but just something to note!!! 

This was our tightest matchup of the week, both teams putting up very respectable scores. Going into the slate of Monday Night Football games, Powder was projected to be right up there with Waleed. But, ESPN can’t predict everything, and Powder’s monstrous 2-headed RB duo of Saquon Barkley and James Conner underwhelmed a bit. Conner’s injury was especially unfortunate, considering Benny FREAKING Snell went off and eclipsed 100-yards in his absence. Saquon had a strange game, with only 6 yards off of 15 carries. His role in the passing game saved his week from being a total shit show though, racking up 6 catches for 60 yards. Still a disappointing effort for the best running back since Barry Sanders (yeah I said it!!!!).

D-Hop’s Puffy Performance

DeAndre Hopkins’ 29.1 point performance was all for naught, sadly, but he carried Powder’s squad to being in contention up until the first MNF game. Don’t let D-Hop’s crazy stat-line go unnoticed though. 14 receptions, 151 yards. 16 total targets made up for 43% (Yes, I said FORTY-THREE PERCENT) of the target share for the Cardinals offense. That’s a great sign for all rostering D-Hop in fantasy this season. 29.1 points without a TD?! My God.. with Kyler slinging the ball to him, this dude really could usurp Michael Thomas and Julio Jones as the top WR after this season…


Waleed’s team was led by a gargantuan performance by the #1 pick, also known as CMC, or Mr. Olivia Culpo, Christian McCaffrey. The usage of CMC was perplexing to see early on in that matchup against the Raiders. Matt Rhule and Joe Brady only gave McCaffrey 10 touches in the 1st half, and then they realized, down 15 to 27, maybe they should utilize their best player?! CMC ended up with a huge day in the end though. His final stat line consisting of 2 rushing TDs, 23 carries for 96 yards, and 3 receptions totaling 38 yards, good for 28.4 points. In the end, Drew Brees putting up only 14.4 points didn’t burn Waleed as much as one might assume. Good overall team performance with not many letdowns.

Matchup MVP: Christian McCaffrey (28.4 pts)

Panthers Highlights: Christian McCaffrey scores 2020's first touchdown

Already talked a bunch about CMC, but man – if Matt Rhule really is admitting he screwed up and should’ve used McCaffrey a ton from the get go? We’re in trouble, and that prolific 2019 fantasy season could very well be replicated, or even bested, with a better QB at the helm in Carolina. 

Matchup Letdown: Saquon Barkley (12.6 pts)

Saquon Barkley was historically bad in Giants loss to Steelers | KYR News

I was initially going to go James Conner here, but to be honest, considering he played the entire game without injury, I’m going with Saquon. 15 carries for just 6 yards?! I know this Steelers defense is supposed to be great, and the Giants O-line is a question mark, but come on!! Saquon should end up as one of the GOAT running backs! He ended up with 12.6 points, due to Daniel Jones giving him some love in the passing game, but still! I know I’m being hard on him, but when I see him play, I expect greatness, not Laurence Maroney level production!!! 

The Sharks over The Click Baits (145.58 to 125.2)

The final matchup of the week was the highest scoring one! It was close, but Fred O’Brien (The Sharks) and Connor Ryan (The Click Baits) teamed up to outscore Quags and Al’s matchup by… 0.16 points. Gotta love these decimal point leagues for pinpointing random things like that.


Both teams shot right out of a cannon in this one, and never looked back. Josh Allen’s prolific 28.18 point Week 1 performance was HUGE for Fred, slightly outpacing Connor’s own strong QB production in Kyler Murray. Let me be clear, Josh Allen is going to be AWESOME all year. I love that Fred was bullish on him in general this year, and made sure he got him in this draft. But that being said, Fred didn’t overdraft him at all – Allen was taking at the end of the 12th round! Now that’s what I call value. ‘The Sharks’ could be quite dangerous if this 300-yard passing performance is indicative of what the Bills offense has evolved into.


Oh and then some guy named Davante Adams has a pretty good game, I guess. 14 receptions. 156 yards receiving. 2 touchdown receptions. FORTY-ONE POINT SIX FANTASY POINTS! That Davante Adams stat-line just had to be devastating for Connor to stomach. One of the hosts of CouchGuy’s ‘Your Fantasy: 2 Dudes Fake Balls’ Youtube show, Connor has been adamantly vocal on Adams as an elite receiver. Here’s Connor’s initial take, and twitter reaction to Adams’ incredible game.

‘The Click Baits’, Chum For ‘The Sharks’

Connor’s squad put up 125 points, and lost. That hurts. The truth is, aside from Quags, ‘The Sharks’ were taking down anyone that drifted into their waters this week. Connor’s got a super solid team, and will be fine. As mentioned, Kyler Murray did really well, putting up a diversified 26.3 points through the air and on the ground, against an elite 49ers defense. Dalvin Cook’s 21.8 point performance was saved by a couple of TD runs. His number of touches might be something to monitor when they aren’t playing from behind for a large chunk of the time.

Really no glaring under-performers for Connor other than his D/ST and kicker. I also like the Bears D, but this past week might be somewhat of a red flag for things to come for them. Not really trying to analyze kickers here, but I think Connor’s rostering of Rodrigo Blankenship is more so due to his stout reputation on social media. Sorry, but that’s just how I see it. I’m like the Barbara Walters of Fantasy Football League Recaps. Not here to butter anyone up, just here to say it like it is.

Matchup MVP: Davante Adams (41.6 pts)

For Packers' Davante Adams, 'beautiful game' — and record-tying performance — were days in the making | Pro football | madison.com

No other real option here. A 40-plus point performance is going to swing almost any matchup in your favor, and this week was no exception to that rule. If he wins it all this year, led by more Adams performances like this one, I hope Fred buys himself a Davante Adams jersey or something. 

Matchup Letdown: Mark Ingram (2.9 pts)

In 10th Season, Mark Ingram Still Running Strong For Ravens | WBAL NewsRadio 1090/FM 101.5

Not many options here for Connor’s team despite a losing effort, which is a good thing for his team’s overall future. Sorry but I just don’t feel like pretending a 3-point effort from his kicker was the deciding factor of the outcome. 

Despite the big win, Fred endured a pretty abysmal performance by Mark Ingram, which is something to monitor moving forward. JK Dobbins could already be in contention for the starting job, and for that reason, I’m putting Ingram as the letdown. Stay tuned on Ingram’s workload in that Ravens’ backfield, who in week 2 should feast on the Chiefs in a shootout. Kind of feels like I’m already talking myself into an Ingram bounce-back! 


Weekly Accolades:

Some random shout-outs and disses to acknowledge the best and worst performances of the past week.

The Galaxy Brain Award: Boston President Quags – Nick Quags (162.04 pts)

Expanding Brain Generator

Congrats. You made all the right moves this week. A true galaxy-brain level performance that led to the most points scored.

The WAP (Weak Ass Performance) Award: Small State Big Cakes – Gilli (AKA, me) (89.64 pts)

90 Day Fiance': Big Ed allegedly again insults Rose's bad breath

Getting this one out of the way. My team stunk! I scored the least amount of points, and to make matters worse, I didn’t even mismanage and leave crazy points on my bench! the points weren’t there any where on my roster. It’s just 1 week, but I’m at DEFCON 4. No need to mobilize the Air Force, but I am aware it does not look great. Can’t make excuses, can only lick my wounds, monitor the waiver wire and move on.

The Went Down Swingin’ Award: The Click Baits – Connor Ryan (125.2 pts)

in360news: Sylvester Stallone Explains Why He Cast Dolph Lundgren in Rocky IV

The Click Baits were in a shootout this week, on the wrong end of a matchup against the most points scored. He did nearly everything right, yet it wasn’t enough. But even in a shootout between a couple of sharpshooters, someone has to lose. Way to go down swingin’ champ, better luck next time.

The Sneaky Snake Award: Team Waleed – Waleed Jeha (123.1 pts) 

This person won with the lowest score total among all winners this week. A little luck goes a long way in fantasy, and this is symbolic of that. 

For now, congrats… but it let it be known that we see you slithering your way to a victory! So much of fantasy is playing teams on the right week, the fantasy gods are on your side, for now…

Standings After Week 1

Pretty humbling for me to be at the bottom by a ton here. Only going to use it as motivation moving forward. No need to dwell on drafting Le’Veon Bell when I knew it was a bad idea. No need to even think about how absolutely screwed I am if Michael Thomas’ high-ankle sprain is going to impact his usage. Am I concerned about injuries to Thomas, Bell, Miles Sanders, Courtland Sutton, or DaVante Parker? No, not all! Ha Ha Ha.

Not even sure why I posted the standings. No one even asked me to do this. Am I dancing on my own grave here? Maybe. Either way, I’m not panicking. Way too early to panic. No way, no how. This is fine. I am fine.

Song Expressing My Current Feelings following Week 1: 

We’re on to Week 2…

What a blast of a Week 1. Football is back, and I loved every second of it (minus my team in this league sucking eggs).

That being said, if you’re disappointed by your team’s Week 1 performance, there are plenty of players out there on the waiver wire.*

*Eyes up on Malcolm Brown, Nyheim Hines (RIP Marlon Mack “/ ), and even a few sneaky-good QBs… 

But alas, it’s just week 1! Do not overreact and do something drastic like dropping your 3rd round pick because they stunk. Pump the brakes on any knee-jerk reactions. Feel free to check in with the ‘Your Fantasy: 2 Guys Fake Balls’ guys on twitter for any and all fantasy questions heading into Week 2.

may the odds be ever in your favor - hunger games sign | Meme Generator

Good luck to all in your respective leagues – may the waiver odds ever be in your favor. I’ll be back next week with another recap on the Couch Guy Sports fantasy league.

-Mike Gilligan (@BigGilli, @VerbalCommitPod and @SmallStateTakes Podcast) – https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/small-state-big-takes/id1432138166 / https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/verbally-committed/id1516871465

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