A Guide for a Successful New Year’s Eve
With New Year’s Eve being tomorrow and the 2010s coming to an end, tomorrow will surely be one of those nights that will do some damage on your body for a the rest of the week. NYE is one of those holidays where theres so many factors that could really ruin your night. I’m going to tell you how to NOT ruin your said night.
1. Know your Nursery Rhymes
Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear. And you can’t forget my favorite of liquor before shots, you’ll be going home with thots. Really simple people. If you find yourself drinking a Corona before pounding down Vodka sodas for the rest of the night then just take your shit and head to the bathroom for the night and your midnight kiss can be the toilet. Every NYE party will have that 25 year old who thinks they’re a little smarter and stronger than a good nursery rhyme, well news flash buddy you’re not. Even if you don’t throw up your left over Chinese food that you ate before you left, you will have the worst hangover the next day. NYE is a pacing game. Stick with either liquor or beer, but don’t mix.
2. Don’t ruin the night because you shit your pants
Shitting your pants is a grade A party pooper move. If you’re pregaming and you’re about 4-5 drinks in please don’t eat the little corndogs that Becky made as a pre-bar snack. She read the directions wrong and they are still a little frozen in the middle. However if you do eat them because you’re a fatty who can’t say no to a good corndog, then wear a diaper out. Bar bathrooms are the worst place to take a poop. Guys piss and throw up all over the seat and no one can take a peaceful shit with 14 girls talking about Brad, Chad, and Steve from Omega-3 in the men’s room. Also ladies, why do you think its ok to invade the boys room anyway? This isn’t the Oprah show where you can talk about your life, I’m trying to take a piss!
3. Sober You, Helps Drunk You Out
Take care of yourself. Play the 20/20 hindsight game. No one knows themselves better than you know yourself. If you’re someone who comes home drunk and they eat the fridge out, then cook yourself a post-NYE meal. If you come home and you know you’re going to pass out on pillow impact then pull the covers back so you can slide right in there. Same goes with a water. A college trick I always did was I would hide an ice cold water in the fridge for when I got back from partying that night. My mouth was as dry as a desert and I needed water! Don’t be like Spongebob with no water.
4. Stay away from the champagne toast
Champagne is the number one leading cause of NYE Throw up Syndrome. Most people start drinking or getting ready to start by 7 PM. If everything goes as planned and you have 2 an hour by the time it gets to midnight you should have had about 8-10 drinks which should have you ready for bed. Anyway, anyone with a brain knows beer/liquor does not mix with bubbly sewer water that wine companies call champagne. That shit is terrible and people pretend EVERY YEAR that they like the toast. It only leads to disasters.
ps Please drink responsibility and DON’T DRIVE!!!!
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John McCormack (Uncle_Mac4)
Couch Guy Sports #Podcast ep. 138 🚨
🎥 #Spygate2’s video leak makes the #Patriots look… Not great🏈 Josh Gordon suspended
⚾️ Mookie Betts headed to Los Angeles rumors? Do you make the trade? #RedSox
👀: https://t.co/9QM6LHHEyo
🎧: https://t.co/XfkDCcFlme— Couch Guy Sports Podcast (@CouchGuyPodcast) December 24, 2019
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