— Couch Guy Sports (@CouchGuySports) May 17, 2018
Look. People talk about it all the time with Tom Brady. This guy, he’s an aging specimen. If you stuck him in a cage at a zoo, people would show up for Tom Brady. He’s an NFL quarterback playing into his 40s and still continues to win MVPs. We hear all the time about his diet. His workout regimen. But, and I say this in all honesty, I think Bartolo Colon is proving him wrong.
Who needs to eat healthy in order to continue to excel in their sport? I’ll tell you one guy who doesn’t need to, Big Sexy.
Big Sexy is days away from turning 45 years old and the guy is pitching like it’s 2002. That guy is taking line drives off of his porky belly like in the video above and it doesn’t phase him.
Listen I know that Tom Brady swears that tomatoes aren’t good for the body. Your holy temple can’t take that acid if you want to continue playing sports into your 40s. But I can’t imagine that Big Sexy is avoiding any types of food. You put a burger and a Cuban cigar in front of that guy and both are gone in minutes.
Big Sexy doesn’t give an eff. After he takes that shot to the gut, he smirks. Like, “Can you believe anyone thought I would be hurt?”.
Are you trying to tell me that Bartolo Colon is living a healthy lifestyle? Absolutely not and he’s still cruising through 20 something-year-old MLB players like they’re toddlers holding baseball bats for the first time.
Colon is hurling an ERA of 2.82 over nine games and has even smoked powerhouses like the Astros. By far my favorite athlete in sports right now. If Texas gave a damn about content though they would trade him to a National League team again so we can get more videos of him going yard like we saw him do with the Mets. Jackwagons.
-Nick Quaglia (@NickQuag)