Couch Guy Reviews: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man Tell No Tales is the 5th and presumed final instalment in the blockbuster franchise. The film stars Johnny Depp, Javier Bardem, Brenton Thwaites, Kaya Scodelario, and Geoffrey Rush. Let’s review this film. When recapping this series, the best one by far is the original one. People tend to forget that Johnny Depp got nominated for a freaking Oscar for his role as Captain Jack Sparrow. But since that, the sequels gone from bad to worse. So I didn’t have high expectations going into this movie but because I saw them all, I had to finish it. So this film takes place pretty far in the future compared to the previous movies and Captain Jack Sparrow is pretty much past his prime. A young man named Henry (Thwaites) and a young woman named Carina (Scodelario) look for Captain Jack Sparrow to help them find the Trident of Poseidon. Meanwhile Captain Salazar (Bardem) is after Sparrow for revenge and now we have our movie.

So getting to what I liked, Bardem as Salazar was a pretty good villain. The Pirates movies have always done pretty well with the villains and Salazar can be added to that list. The action was good once again as there was a lot of variety to the action set pieces. I also tend to forget this but the music is fantastic. It’s got to be one of the more underrated themes ever for movies. Finally, I enjoyed the new young cast. Henry and Carina are well-rounded and interesting characters that I got behind and rooted for their respected goals.

As for what I didn’t like, this movie tends to follow the same trends from the previous movies. Like the fact that the Pirates are fighting zombies once again and the humor is really bad. It’s familiar and it’s predicable. But the biggest issue unfortunately is Captain Jack Sparrow himself. As I said earlier, Depp was nominated for an Oscar back in 2003 because he made the character of Jack Sparrow his own. Sparrow was the smartest and most badass pirate in the world and well, he’s just not that anymore. He just comes off now as an alcoholic idiot that falls into dumb luck and that’s just annoying. Sure Jack Sparrow is quirky by trait but he’s not a cartoon. At least there is a flashback scene showing when Sparrow was a badass, but why not continue that for the entire movie?

Ultimately though, the reason that I am giving this movie a positive review is the last 15 minutes of the film. The climax was really emotional and it was a satisfying finish the movie and the franchise as a whole. If you’re a big fan of the Pirates movies then you’ll enjoy this one. If you’re just looking for a fun movie over the long weekend then I would say check it out as well. There’s a post-credit scene so stay till the end.

Rating: 72%/C-

Written By: Steven Santoro (SVS_1993)

I love sports and movies. Be on the lookout for articles about both. I also made a video that got 24,000 Retweets. (The views expressed on this website are mine alone and are not intended in any way to reflect the views of my employer)

Steven Santoro

I love sports and movies. Be on the lookout for articles about both. I also made a video that got 24,000 Retweets. (The views expressed on this website are mine alone and are not intended in any way to reflect the views of my employer)

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